Chapter 28: What If Wrong Is Actually Right?: Part 1:

Note: 

Sorry this chapter is kind of boring and uneventful :/ But the next part will be a lot more interesting. I had a whole chunk of a scene I was going to include between David and Melody but I had to cut it because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it with The Sims 3's chemistry set :( Oh well... Until part 2 :)

The stench of unfamiliar chemicals and strange gases lingered between me and David as we finished up our lab, well technically he had done all the work and I just watched him.

"Okay so what are we mixing together now? This?" I asked, as I lifted up a test tube that contained a blue liquid, and flashed it in front of David's face.
"No! We're done, there's nothing else to do" He scolded, nudging my arm away from all the chemicals.
Just then Ms.Johnson swiftly walked over towards us and tapped my shoulder, crossing her arms over her chest as she eyed me up and down. "Ms.Wiggins what's the problem with this picture I'm seeing right now?" She tapped the heel of her foot in a long, monotonous rhythm, waiting for my response.

"Umm, I'm not sure. I'm not even doing anything-" I muttered, looking around at our table, everything looked fine to me.
Ms.Johnson kept staring at me and I was still standing there, like an oblivious little fool.
David nudged me with his elbow, laughing a little bit. "Your hair, fix it."
It wasn't until then that I realized I hadn't tied up my hair and we still had our Bunsen burner on even though we were about to turn it off. "Ohhhh, yeah that. I'm sorry Ms.Johnson." I said, walking towards my bag to go and get a scrunchie.
"Yeah, I know you are." She replied, smirking a little as she shook her head back and forth.

I turned my back towards her and walked to my seat, rolling my eyes while heaving a deep sigh. Why couldn't I still be at home, laying in my comfy bed? All of these chemical equations were making me feel brain dead. Ugh.
I slipped my fingers inside my bag, pulling out my scrunchie. "Yeah, the 6th is tomorrow, and then we just have to wait until the 13th!  Where have you been this whole week? Hockey tryouts are next week, you better get ready! I'm so glad the football season will be over soon...They didn't have too good of a season this year." Janelle was talking to her friend about the game tomorrow. Janelle was actually a pretty kick-ass hockey player despite the fact that she loved cheer leading and was quite 'girly' as some would say. I wondered if she talked to my sister lately. Everyone was always talking about sports these days. But that was nothing new for my school.
They made it so blatantly obvious that they appreciated the athletes more than the regular students or students that were interested in other things, and I hated that. I mean for Christ sakes, they were spending our parents hard earned money on silly equipment and new stadium lights that didn't even need to be replaced in the first place. We couldn't even at least get new textbooks or something, I found that quite pathetic. But then again my school was pretty pathetic despite the fact that it was a private school. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to be in a public school. Was it really as bad as they made it seem?
In an abrupt and careless manner, I gathered my hair in my hands and worked it through the hair tie, creating a rather sloppy looking bun, but I didn't really care.

Thank God it would be Christmas soon, because God only knew how much I really didn't want to be here in this hell hole of a school.

When I walked back over to David, he had already cleaned everything up at our table. This past week he had been very helpful despite the nasty attitude I had given him before. He tried to help me whenever he could even though I knew he was probably annoyed with me sometimes, especially since he kept repeating himself nearly everyday.
"David?" I asked, leaning against the table as I stared at him.
"Yeah?" He kept his eyes on the empty test tube as he dropped it inside the rack.
"Thanks. I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but thanks." I knew my cheeks were turning various shades of scarlet but he was too busy to notice it.
He didn't laugh, or smile, his lips didn't even budge. "Oh yeah, it's no big deal." He said as if he were in a hurry or something. I at least thought he would say a joke, but he didn't, he was acting strange.
"Wow you're enthused... Are you okay?" I twisted my eyebrows, something definitely was up.
"I've had better days." He finally put the last test tube down inside the test tube rack. His eyes finally reached mine like a bulls eye on an archery target "I just have a lot on my mind."

  He looked back over at the test tubes and it looked like something was making him depressed.
What the hell had gotten into him? "What's wrong with you?" I knew I would probably regret asking him that.

   He rolled his eyes,looking  around the room in the most slow and awkward way. His lips pursed slightly and then looked at me, in a funny way. "You're too young to understand."
    "David you're only 2 years older than me, that's not really a significant age difference, you sound ridiculous." Did he realize what the hell he just said?!
    "It's a significant difference when you're in high school." He laughed at me and looked back over at the test tube.

"That makes no sense," I mumbled. "How are you anymore different than me?"
"Well..." He looked me up and down, laughing a little. "I'm a guy, and you're a girl."
I nudged him in the shoulder. "I get that, smart ass."
"Excuse me Ms.Wiggins?!" Shit. Ms.Johnson was stalking me from behind my back, like a hawk. I could just feel her beady little eyes on me. My heart rate quickened, she was about to swoop down and eat me alive.

I turned around to face her, looking like a ghost, pale and white in the face. "Yes?"
"Did you just say foul language in my classroom?" She raised her eyebrows, they looked like mini-mountains above her eyelids. "You do know that, I could report you for that, right?"
It was probably bad but I really didn't care if I was reported, I didn't want to be in school anymore. Suspension sounded like a glorious vacation to me. "Yeah I know, and I'm sorry Ms.Johnson." I said, trying to make it sound like I cared.
"Next time I won't be so generous when it comes to the use of foul language in my classroom do you understand Ms.Wiggins?" She looked at me like I was a dirt bag.
      "Yes ma'am." I said, nearly biting through my tongue.
      "Good. You know....You might want to learn a thing or two from your partner...Maybe he can help you clean up your act."  She looked over at David, grinning before she started walking towards another lab group.

    Ms.Johnson finally walked away and once she was nearly out of sight I turned to David, mocking her. "Maybe he can help you clean up your act." I turned back around, watching her help some other students in the class "Bitch." I muttered under my breath.
It was like David was at some comedy show because all he did was sit back and laugh. "You are a very mean-spirited girl, you don't seem like it...But you are, deep down inside."
I lapped my eyes at him. "No David, I just don't like it when teachers get on their high horse over dumb shit."
"Dumb shit" He said, throwing air quotes into the air. He laughed some more. "I see you really want to get reported, huh?" He waited for me to answer him but I ignored his little snide remarks.

A grin spread across his face like butter being spread across a piece of toast, pitch black, burnt toast. "Don't worry I can help you out with that..." His voice trailed off as he slowly started raising his hand as if he was going to ask a question.
My hand moved viciously fast like a fly swatter, slapping a fly. I slapped David's arm and looked around, making sure Ms.Johnson was still busy. "Put your fucking hand down!" I whispered.
"Owww!" He rubbed his arm, looking at me in shock. "What was that for?!"
"You know what that was for." I said, like a parent scolding their child.
"I was going to ask her a question about the lab" He was a really bad liar, his lab was already filled with the blue ink from his pen.
"Mhmmmm" I hummed, looking over at his paper.

 

     Just then, everyone started packing their things and David did the same. His fingers met the lab sheet and I felt like every thing was moving in slow motion. "Could I-Are you done with that?" I asked which was a dumb question because 1: I sounded stupid. And 2: He already had blue ink plastered all over it.
    "You want to 'borrow' it, don't you?" He asked, throwing up air quotes yet again.
  "Never mind." I could do it on my own, I just didn't feel like it.
    He grinned and his cheeks displayed the universal color of love, red. "Relax, it was just a joke. Here..." He slid the lab over to my side of the table.

     The bell finally rung and he got up, not even bothering to look at me.  He walked out of the door, as if he were stalling, but then he turned left and completely disappeared like April raindrops that evaporate during the warm month of May.






   

***

   "Okay class so what do we know about triangles that can help us solve this problem?" Mr.Huff asked, looking around the sea of unenthusiastic students until his eyes landed on me. "Ahh yes Melody, please enlighten your classmates."
“ We already have two of the angles, and the angles in a triangle add up to 180 degrees so you can set up an equation to find the measure of the missing angle.” I don’t know why but math was that one thing that actually still made sense to me. There were no tricks and exceptions the answer was either incorrect or correct, and you could always check your answers.
“Very good, but could you possibly tell me more?” He asked as he looked back up at the board.

I looked back down at the paper, realizing that the question wasn't just asking about the measure of angles, it was asking about the lengths of the sides too.
He had already moved on now, pointing to another student who had their hand raised. “Yes?”
“There’s a median in the middle of the triangle so side AE and side EF have the same length, you can also add them together and find out the length of side AF as a whole.” A warm voice said from the right side of my shoulder.
I peered over my shoulder to see that blonde haired, grey eyed beast look back at me. My eyes scurried away from his and found their way back to the board.

"Set this equation up and solve for x, ladies and gentlemen." Mr.Huff turned to the board, writing out the proper way the equation should look. He took a quick glance at the clock. "Hmm. Never mind guys, we'll finish this up tomorrow."
Everyone started throwing their notebooks, pencils, pens, and other school related shit inside of their bags.
I gathered my belongings, turning towards the aisle between the desks, but I was blocked. My foot stopped dead in its tracks and my eyes ran up to the person standing right in front of me.
Denver lifted his hand out towards the side, gesturing for me to go as he flashed his million dollar smile. I could only imagine the amount of girls he pulled in with that smile, it's  a shame I was almost one of them.
We stood there just looking at each other for a moment. I shook my head, insisting that he go instead but Mr.Huff called out to me. "Melody may I have a word with you?"

Finally something to break this awkward tension, I was pretty sure we would've started doing the awkward dance if Mr.Huff hadn't intruded our little awkward encounter.
Denver walked out the door in a swift manner and I just stood there staring at Mr.Huff. I guess he didn't have any classes to teach this period because no one else was entering the room, and that made me feel uneasy.
I walked over to his desk slow and cautiously, thinking about what he could possibly have to say to me.  Did I fail that test we took last week? Did I look at him the wrong way?What the hell did I do?
"It's a pleasure to finally be able to talk to you in a more quiet and personal environment Ms.Wiggins" He said gingerly.
My eyes roamed from the ceiling, to the board, to the desk, and then finally back at him. "Yeah, it is." I murmured, grabbing my forearm with my freehand.

He kept smiling at me, which completely threw me off. I guess I didn't do anything wrong after all.  "I know you're probably wondering why I want to speak with you."
"Yeah, I'm pretty confused right now." I giggled nervously, even though he didn't say anything even remotely funny.

"I just wanted to talk to you about that test we took last week and give you a consideration that you should strongly think about." Oh God, I was wrong, he was definitely going to grill me for completely bombing that exam.
He reached over to the pile of worn, and faded white papers , pulling out one  that had a red marking on top of it and my name on it, it was my exam. Surprisingly it said 99% so what was his issue?
He pointed at me. "You passed with flying colors on last weeks exam Ms.Wiggins and you weren't even here for a whole month! That's amazing." His smile slightly twisted a little bit "Although you did lose a point for a silly mistake with a double negative- but other than that holy cow...I'm impressed."

I was a Christopher Columbus 2.0, taking credit for something I wasn't even worthy of, and doing horrible things people would shun me for. I probably just got lucky anyways, that exam seemed pretty hard when I took it. "Well thanks, I guess." I looked up at the ceiling again. "That exam was pretty difficult."
His eyes widened. "I know and that's why I nominated you for our math team, The LakeWood Radicals. Only honors students can get in and you qualify although I'm not sure why you never joined on your own." He looked at me funny, and I did the same.
Did he seriously just say what I think he said?! "I'm not that smart, I just study hard...And besides they probably do complicated things I can't even understand, there's no use in me joining if I can't be of use to them."

He placed his arms around the sides of my shoulders. "Well their next meet is tomorrow, you have to make up your mind because after that they're going to start preparing for more competitive opportunities...You can do it, I know you can." It felt so awkward having someone believe in me. My own mother never said anything like that to me, I pretty much motivated myself half the time when she was barely around.

I walked over towards the door, bringing the conversation to an end without even verbalizing it because, I knew he would only try and persuade me some more. Ugh but why did he have to say all of that? I hated that. It felt like he was pushing me to push my self and right now I didn't want to push myself, I wanted to relax. And besides if he thought I was so worthy, why did he wait until now to say all of this crap?

"If you say you can't do something without even trying it first, then you've already failed." He walked back over to his desk and pulled out some more withered papers and a red pen. I headed for the door but before I left he looked over at me, not smiling nor frowning, he just looked stern. "Enjoy the rest of your day Ms.Wiggins, I hope you make the wise decision."

Chapter 27: If Only I Could Read You Mind: Part 3/3

*Jessica's POV*

*Mild Nudity *

Bang bang bang! It felt like something was rumbling underneath the skin of my hands as I knocked on the door. The wind scruffled up my hair, making me look even more disheveled than I already had. I turned around and looked back at the street, scraping my sneakers against the pavement.
The apartment looked dusky and bleak, kind of like a vacant lot where no one lived. I could barely see through the windows even though I was squinting pretty damn hard. Was this even the right address?
I backed away from the door, about to head back to my car before the door cracked open at the speed of light.
It felt like my breath was trapped inside of my lungs as I spun around and saw Collin standing in the doorway. "Oh man you're leaving already?! It feels like you just got here!" He sneered at me.

I swear the word 'sarcasm' was written in his DNA. "Yup that's what I do. I show up to people's apartments and just leave as soon as I knock on the door." I played along with his little joke, even though I was so nervous. My fingers couldn't find their way out of my hair as I raked them through nearly every strand.
His finger grazed the bottom of his chin. "Hmm, well I opened the door so what happens now?"

"Now..." I narrowed my eyes at him and looked all around behind him, trying to get a better view of his apartment. "You let me in." I teased him some more, raising my eyebrows as he just stood there looking back at me, with one hand on his hip as his other hand held onto the door.

Collin shifted over towards the side and made way for me to walk through the door. He took a bow as I crept inside his apartment, "After you, your majesty."
I couldn't resist the smile that snuck up on my face, and I knew he saw it despite how dark it was in here. His eyes were so intense, it was like he was touching me with his own eyes. I could feel his eyes move all over my body and it was absolutely electrifying.
The door groaned as he shut it, still keeping his eyes on me as we stood there in the darkness, gazing at each other like stars in the midnight sky. "So, are you going to show me your room or are we just going to stand here like idiots?" I asked, scoping out the rest of the place which was nearly full of nothing but shadows.
"My room?" He raised the tone of his voice, it was like a spark had been set off because I could sense the excitement in his voice.
"Yeah. Your room, you know what I came here to do so let's do it." I still couldn't believe he chose me, out of all the girls he knew. Somehow I was the special one, somehow I was the one that was worthy of all this. I wanted to do this so badly, and his hesitation was driving me mad.

Without further ado, he held his arms out towards the staircase that seemed to have light leading from the top of it. "We might be up until midnight-"
"I don't mind. You're the one who's in control." I said, which sounded way more sexual than I intended it to.
"I like that response."

We wandered up the stairs and turned to the left, strolling inside the only room that had lights on, his room. Collin smiled at me and asked me “Do you like it?”
                        There were paintbrushes, paint drippings that stained the bottom half of the floor boards, and painted canvases everywhere. On the wall, was nothing but endless amounts of pictures, which I guessed he created? It was obvious he was an artist; he arranged the paintings on his wall in a way that was so clever and enchanting. Every time my eyes shifted from one painting to the next, it felt like I was dancing or perhaps spinning. Everything was covered by something; even his end table was nearly hidden by the large sheets of white paper that had faint, grey sketches on them.

                       “Well, it’s just like how I imagined it’d be.” I nearly whispered, suddenly feeling repressed and introverted. It wasn't until then that I realized I shouldn't have been here. It wasn't the time, or the circumstances that made it wrong. People had their own beliefs on what they thought was going on between us but that still didn't shake the way I felt. They practiced condemnation but me and Collin practiced veneration for one another and that, is what separated us from them.

                       “You mean dirty and messy, right?” He started laughing at me.
                        “No, I-I’m just speechless.” I murmured, taking a few more steps forward as I observed some more of his works, and he started setting up his easel.
                        “What’s on your mind?” He asked, as he picked up some paintbrushes and placed them in the cradle of the easel.
                       “You’re comfortable with me being in here?” I glanced up at him and he frowned, dropping everything as he walked over to me.
                        “You’re not comfortable being here…That’s what it is, isn't it?” He asked, not even bothering to answer my question.

"No I am" I said quickly, afraid he would change his mind about this.
"There's no need to lie Jess, I know you're second guessing yourself just because of them." He sighed and rolled his eyes at me. "How many times do I have to tell you that they will never understand us, this world that I'm introducing you to is far too perceptive for them to understand, it's beyond their comprehension,"
"I know, I know." I pleaded, trying not to make him upset. He was right, lately it kind of did feel like no one understood me anymore.
"No, clearly you don't understand because you keep trying to appease them by explaining yourself to them." He got closer to me, his face nearly touching mine before he spoke. "This world I'm about to introduce you to is intense, Jess...There's no in and out, these worlds will never exist together." He placed his arms on my shoulders.  " You're either with us or you're with them, are you in or not?"
I couldn't stall anymore, I could tell he was tired of it. "I'm in." I said with conviction, flashing him a weak smile.
He didn't return the favor, he just kept staring into my eyes and I couldn't tell if he was angry or just tired of me. "Then start acting like it. Don't ever doubt yourself again, do you understand?"
"Yes." I said in an undertone, still smiling at him.

He placed his chilling hands upon the sides of my face and rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks, before pulling them away and looking back at them.
"Natural and captivating-Just the way I like it." His hands found their way back to my face again and he tilted my face up, making sure we were still making eye contact. "You're pretty without all that silly makeup."
"Uhh, thanks-I guess" I said quietly, feeling like a little rag doll between his hands.
"Be confident." He frowned, clearly showing his resentment towards my lack of confidence.
"Thanks." I said quickly, not trying to hear another long speech from him about self-assurance.

"That's better." Now he finally smiled back at me. "Shall we begin?" He asked, looking towards the stool that was directly in front of the easel.
"We've waited long enough." I said sarcastically, even though I was super nervous. He took his hands away from my face and went back towards his easel. Oh God, we were really about to do this.

I plodded towards the stool in the most ungraceful way I could ever imagine. I felt like a clown, walking on cheap wooden stilts. "So uhhh, d-do you-do-d-" I stuttered all over the place, and the fact that my body was shaking made me sound even worse, I hoped he couldn't notice my shaking. Why the hell was I shaking like this? I've never been this nervous before. Was it the slight chill in the room that was making me shiver this much or was I actually that nervous?
Collin was looking up at me, laughing a little. "You don't have to get completely naked, I only need you to be topless, I can work with that." He sounded so sure about this, almost as if he had done this before.
"Are you sure this is your first time doing a painting like this?" I questioned him, raising my eyebrows a little.
"Yeah, can't you see how nervous I am?" He said that as if it were obvious.
"No, you look focused and ready..." My fingers were shaking.
"Well I'm not, this is a huge deal for me-"
I cut him off. "No, this is a huge deal for me." I said somewhat defensively.

"Why? Because you're naked?" He asked, laughing a little.
I said nothing, the only thing I could feel was the trembling of my knees. "There's nothing wrong with nudity Jess, in some 3rd world countries the people still walk around with nothing covering their bodies-"
"But this is America, we don't live in a 3rd world country, nudity isn't exactly acceptable."
"Who cares? Society has two eyes Jess, and one of them is blinded...They only see half of everything they look at, so you should never look to society for approval or denial because they never see the full picture, they're half blind and only see one side of everything."

He did it again. Collin always had a way of making things that were considered inappropriate, seem okay and justifiable. "I never thought about it that way." I said slowly, looking down at my pitch black sneakers, feeling like I was going to lose my breath.
"I know you didn't" He snickered, before he cleared his throat and lowered his voice a little. "Now..."

I took that as a queue to start undressing, so I turned my back towards him and began pulling my shirt over my head, before he startled me.
"Stop!" He shouted. I turned back around and faced him, feeling naked, even though I technically wasn't...Yet.
"What?" Ice was nearly melting on my back, I shivered and tried to hold my self together, I was already freaking out and I still had my shirt on.
"I can't do this without asking you a question first...." He eyed me up and down in the most peculiar way.
"Um sure, what do you need to ask me?" It felt like he was the one stalling now, I was willing yet he wasn't doing what he said he would.
"Do you trust me?" He asked, staring into my eyes.

"Yes."
"You really, honestly, trust me?" He asked once more.
"Yes Collin I do, I trust you." I said gently, trying to sound more sincere.
"Okay, that's all I needed to know." He said before getting his canvas assembled onto the easel. "I'm ready when you are."

That, was the queue. As soon as he said that, I turned back towards the wall, pulled my shirt over my head, and moved my hands towards my back, sliding my fingers underneath my bra. It took me a while to actually get it unhooked, it felt like it kept re-attaching itself every time I unhooked it.
I felt the frosty and frigid air bite all over my naked skin, making me shiver some more.
My nipples were hard which made me uneasy because I wasn't even sexually excited, it felt like I wasn't even in control of my own body. Thank god I had my back facing him, I didn't want him getting the wrong impression.
I ran my fingers along my braid, pulling it towards the side and making sure it was out of the way. I sat up a little straighter, trying to look composed and neat. "How's this?" I asked, but he didn't respond and I was too afraid to turn around and face him. What the hell was he doing? Being all silent and still....Was he painting already or was he watching me?

"Colli-" My voice caught in my throat once I felt a wet coolness on my back that instantly had me shuddering, and I gasped.
"Shh! Don't move." He warned.
Collin's freezing cold finger traced against my skin and the only thing I could feel was curves, long wispy curves. It kind of felt like he was drawing an 'S' on my back with the way he slowly trailed his finger all along my back, which kind of tickled. When he stopped and finally pulled his finger away I could feel that wintry heaviness on top of my skin-he had marked me.

"Collin, did you just mark me?!" I asked, looking over my shoulder.
"Well-I wouldn't call it that..." He said hesitantly.
"Well then what do you call it? And what did you write on my back?!" I said as I tried to get a view of my back.
"I call it luck." He said slowly, and I just knew he was smiling even though I couldn't see his face.
"What?!" I asked again, as  if I hadn't heard him.
"Three is my lucky number." He said cleverly.
So that's what he wrote on my back. "Why would you put that on my back?!" I ask again, starting to think that he's lying.
"Because I'm feeling lucky."

After he said that he walked back over to the other side of the room, and stood in front of his cluttered desk. He rummaged his fingers around, until he pulled out a paintbrush that was hidden beneath all his sketches.
"How do you want me to pose?" I turned my neck around, facing him and he eyed me up and down.
"Hmm, tilt your head more to the other side...."
"Like this?" I moved my head away from his direction, like he said.
"Yeah, just like that, everything's almost perfect..." His voice was trailing off, in a suggestive way and I thought he was going to ask me to turn around.
"Well what would make it perfect?" I asked nervously, mentally preparing myself to throw my clothes on and run for the door, especially after what he had said a few moments ago. What if my sister was right? What if he really did just want sex?

"This." He said, pointing towards the necklace that hung around his neck, containing some red looking liquid inside of it, it was a vial of some sort.
I watched him untwist the cap and pour a small amount of that crimson fluid onto the palm of his hand, and in a flash his tongue careened all over the palm of his hand, letting that sanguine fluid soak into every single one of his taste buds.
When he finished doing that, he shook the palm of his hand in the air, trying to dry it off.  I grew nervous inside once I realized what he was doing. We had talked about this before but I had never actually seen him or anyone do that, up close and personal. Watching him actually do it, just made it that more real to me. But there was no backing out now....
He looked back over at me and smiled. "Now, everything's perfect."

*I know this part of the chapter may seem a little confusing but, that's fine... :) *

Chapter 27: If Only I Could Read Your Mind: Part 2/3: 

***David's Pov ***

David's dad will look like this for the rest of the story...I lost him while transferring all my simmies so I just re-made him.

  I was in the kitchen, practically dragging my feet against the floor as I walked over to the table, sitting in front of my mother.
Some of my friends didn't even eat dinner with their families, they would eat in their rooms instead.  I always wondered what that was like  but my mother insisted that we all sit together and eat dinner because apparently that was "traditional and correct." She also insisted that it helped our "Familiar relationships."
    "Alright, that looks like everything for today. I guess I'll be back tomorrow night?" Antonio asked, looking at my mother who was eyeing the food up and down.
     "Oh, well I was hoping you could come tomorrow morning and cook us breakfast. And could you please separate the food next time? I really don't like my food touching the other food.You know, group everything together accordingly, don't mix it together." Her fork was like a pitchfork as she poked at the tomato laying on the rest of the stuff mixed together. Her eyebrows peaked a little as she looked back up at him.

     "Ahh yes Mrs.Rakenson! I-I'm deeply sorry about that. I'll do a better job next time!" He was so full of pep and pride but my mother was about to shoot him down, I smirked knowing exactly how this would be. Awkward.

"Oh please! Sorry means nothing to me Antonio. Actions speak louder than words. If you're really sorry...Show me." She said, smiling as wide as she could just to hide the real meaning behind her words. I watched her get up and walk over to him, getting ready to make him leave.

     Antonio quickly turned around to the refrigerator and said "There's some dessert in the fridge if you guys want it, I'm sorry about the dinner...I'll do a better job next time." He had no idea how desperate he sounded, it really bugged me.
    "Oh you didn't have to make dessert" She said, patting him on the back and trying to lead him towards the door. She didn't even bother reassuring him that it was okay, I guess he was getting fired.
This was the 3rd person this month that we hired to be our personal chef and now it looked like he wouldn't be around much longer. The first guy we hired did not know how to clean up after he finished cooking. The second person was a woman with extremely long hair and she always swung it around while cooking so it was No surprise when we found some hair in our food. Antonio was a decent personal chef, he seemed pretty worthy up until now-according to my mother.

     "It was my pleasure, I just hope you guys enjoy it, and I'm sorry for the dinner." He said yet again, still smiling so hard that his lips looked like a crescent moon.
     "Okay well, thanks I'll call you tomorrow" She said, pushing him forward and out the door.

"Goodbye Mrs.Rakenson!" He shouted, before he opened and closed the door shut behind him. Although I was glad he finally left, I was feeling slightly nervous now that I was with my mom, she was always enigmatic which made things awkward. But there was really no room for me to complain because my father wasn't home, he was busy doing some stuff for his campaign. And no dad= no redundant and mundane conversations about Harvard or Princeton.
     "Soooo" Her voice was so dry and monotone as she spoke to me. Sometimes I wondered why she even tried to talk to me, besides the fact that she was my mother. "How was your day?"
    I traced my fork along the edge of the plate, focusing on the bright spectrum of colors on the plate. Red, green, white, "Good."
    "Good? That sounds like a lie to me" I watched as her fork went into her mouth and her eyes lit up. "You know your father and I told your counselor to speak with you today. Did you talk to her?"
    "Yeah." Ugh, why were the so obsessed with me going to college?
    Her eyes chased mine and when they met they slowed down. "What did she say David?!"
    I sighed, thinking about what she said to me. "I forgot, I wasn't really paying attention to anything she said"  I didn't forget, I just didn't really care.

      She put her fork down and sat up even straighter than she already had been sitting. "David! What could possibly be more important than what she had to say? Get your priorities straight, me and your father go out of our way to make sure you'll have a good future ahead of you."
    "I don't ask you guys to do all of that for me...I mean thanks but I don't want you guys to do all that. You know I don't want to go to college!"
     "David it doesn't matter what you want, you're only 17 and you're too young to understand how ridiculous you sound right now...Do you know that there's people out there who wish they could have the opportunities you do?"

     I understood that there were people less fortunate than me in the world but that still didn't make me more excited about going to college. "I know that mom! And I don't sound ridiculous, college isn't for everyone. Would you want to pay for my college education and watch me not take it seriously...That would be a waste of money."
    "David you sound ridiculous, what do you want to do with your life if you don't want to go to college? What else is there to do?" She seriously didn't know the answer to that question? I always told her over and over again, what I wanted to do.
     "I want to be a musician mom and no matter what you and dad say, I'm not going to change my mind...You can't force me to be something I'm not, I want to be a musician not a business owner or a lawyer or a doctor...That's not me."

     She lowered her head and was fiddling with her fingers. "David I just want the best for you, I don't want you to have regrets and be sad...College is a life changing experience." My mom looked like she might cry and I felt bad but I was only saying the truth, I couldn't hide the way I felt.
    "Look mom, maybe I'll change my mind towards the end of this year or next year-"
     She shot her head up at me. "There's colleges especially catered towards music that you could look into."
    " I know mom, maybe ill look into some but you know dad still probably wouldn't be happy if I went to a musical college"
     "It doesn't matter how he feels and I just want you to experience what it's like to be in college...I'll talk to him"

     "You always talk to him and nothing changes" My dad had a very specific view on how life should be and we always argued about it. What kind of clothes you should wear, how you should speak, how you should walk, who you should associate with, what kind of food you should eat, what kind of style your hair was in....It was all bullshit to me.
     "Well you know how your father is David, I can't change that..."
 Things got quiet after she said that, I don't know if it was just me or her that was contributing to the silence. It looked like she was thinking about something, and I had something on my mind that probably wasn't appropriate but before I could stop myself I spoke without censoring myself. "Why did you ever marry him?"

     "DAVID!" She was gasping at me and I knew what I said was bad but sometimes I honestly wondered why she married my father. They were too completely different people but I guessed opposites really did attract.

     The sound of our doorbell was ringing through the room now, it sounded like a bunch of chimes being blown in the air by the wind. "I'll get it" she said, rising out of her seat and walking towards the door in her heels. "Your father probably locked himself out of the house again" she sighed and rolled her eyes even though she was smiling.

     My dad was like a firework, as soon as my mom opened the door he made some big dramatic entrance, screaming and hollering. "Ahhhh!"
    I got up and started walking towards the door before I nearly crashed into my dad swinging my mom around in the air as he cradled her in his arms, grinning extra hard.
     "Baby what's going on? Are you okay..." My mom bumbled, as she tried to steady herself, clenching her fingertips into my dad's shoulder. I watched her look at him, it was obvious she loved him but I still couldn't figure out why. Perhaps my father was different back in the day.

    "Ummm?" I muttered, as I scratched my head and looked at him, waiting for him to explain himself.

     "We're about to open up another business, I just got the deed today, isn't this exciting we've had so many accomplishments this year but this-this is something special." He said as he lowered my mom down to the floor and planted a kiss on her lips. "Mmmuah!"

     My mother looked stunned like she was paralyzed or had been tazed or something. "What?!" She looked around at the room as if she hadn't seen it a million times before. "WHAT! This is crazy...we already have 4 businesses, this will be 5 ...WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THIS ONE?! Don't you think this is a bit much honey?"
     "What? No! It's never too much babe" He gripped her hand and swung it around in the air. "Look, for this business I'll let you decide what you want it to be...A clothing store, a hair salon, or another restaurant, another corporation...Whatever you want."
    The way my dad talked to my mother kind of reminded me of myself, I always spoiled Casey even when she didn't ask me for anything,I guess I kind of got it from him.

     Her face turned towards the ground and she rubbed her temples. "I don't even have a cosmetology license and I only have my associates degree in business management...I can't take on a task like that"
     He took a step back, rubbing his chin while observing her. "Hmmm, you are kind of right about that but you know women aren't really made to be in positions like that anyways...You would do better with the social stuff like sales, don't worry I will find something for you to do if you really want to actually be a part of this business"
    She didn't answer him, I knew she wasn't happy. My mother never finished college the way she wanted to, she only completed 2 years and then her mother died. It was always her goal to get her bachelor's degree in something business related but after that rough patch she never really found the time to go back and finish.
    "I'm your wife I should get first dibs on anything that involves any one of our businesses, I'm not even asking you to pay me...I just want to do something and make myself proud...Don't you want to be proud of me?" She asked him, looking like a child.
     "Of course I do sweetie but only when the time is right...You know it's never too late to go back to school and finish where you left off"  
    She was about to speak again but then she just stopped herself and rolled her eyes at him.

     My dad rubbed her back and looked over at me. "We'll talk about this another time hun, but right now I want to talk about something more exciting that involves all of us."
      She still didn't say anything, I guess she knew better than to start a fight with my dad, he would always get his way so it never really was worth it.
    "We're all going to New York for Christmas-" Was this a joke? We hadn't been to New York in 3 years...Well at least I hadn't. My parents traveled back and forth between New York and Florida, because we had businesses there and most of the time I never went with them.

     I was so excited I didn't even let my dad finish saying what he had to say. "New York?! Seriously?! I haven't been down the 42nd street of Manhattan in ages!" A flood of memories came rushing to me.

      "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow your roll there David! We're not going to 42nd street, not even Manhattan!" He had an odd look on his face, which made me worried.
     "What are you talking about dad?" We always went there, we had a second home there. Well technically it was our first home, but ever since we came to Florida we sort of stayed here and commuted back and forth from time to time.
    "I met some guy, he's really nice and he has a lovely family. He invited us to go to his house for Christmas, you can meet his daughter-she's around your age and your cousin Eli is coming it'll be fun."

"WHAT?!?! Why the hell is he coming? Dad, you know I can't stand him, you know what happened last time. Do you want to see a repeat?!" Me and my cousin were not on good terms, he was the only one of my cousins that just rubbed me the wrong way. I could already hear him bragging about his accomplishments and he wasn't even here, he was such a douche bag and I got heated just thinking about the last time we were in the same room together.
"Because he's your cousin David, and you guys need to work it out. You know his parents are going through a divorce, just be nice and there won't be a repeat of last time. And I think having him around will be good for you- He makes you get your shit together, jealousy is a good thing David...It makes you strive to be better."
"Dad I'm not jealous of him, I just don't want to sit there and hear him talk about fucking bullshit for a whole week." Every time Eli was around we got competitive, even when we were young, it never really changed: Who could ride their bike fastest?  Who could watch a scary movie without crying? Who could hold their breath the longest? Who could do more push-ups?  Once we got older that mantra was the same for the most part but just a tad bit different: Who could grow the most facial hair? Who had the most friends? Who had the most talents? Who was better at sports? Who had the prettiest girlfriend? Who was the better kisser? Who had the most sex? Who had the most scholarships? Who had the better grades?
"Watch your mouth David, we're going to Staten Island, and that's that. Change is good, sometimes it's good to do different things."
I was still peeved, I would rather stay home and celebrate Christmas than go to Staten Island with some random guy and his daughter. "Who the hell is this guy anyways? We don't even know him."
"He's running for Governor in New York-"
"Oh so that's what this is about, I can't say I'm surprised dad." My dad was doing anything he could just to promote himself, it was kind of pathetic.

“David just be happy okay” He said, letting out a sigh as he looked over at my mother and I kind of forgot that she was there because she hadn't said anything. “What do you think about all of this?” He said as he lifted her chin up towards his face.
She still couldn't speak, she just smiled meekly.
"I said what do you think about all of this?" He repeated, yet again.
She finally spoke. "It's nice honey, I'm just really tired right now and I feel a little sick. I think I should go to bed."
"Yeah I think you should too." He agreed, before she walked off towards the bedroom.

    It was just me and my dad now, and he actually smiled at me instead of grimacing at me in disgust. "Women," he rolled his eyes as he chuckled and walked over to me, patting my back. "Come here, I want to talk to you."
He led me towards the room he spent most of his time in, his office. My dad's definition of relaxation was being at a desk and typing away at his computer, he was always working. The only 'artwork' my father had hanging up in his office, was some picture of a moon; He believed that successful people, rarely slept, which was what contributed to their success.

"Sit down, son." Sometimes I wondered what his real voice sounded like, there was no way he could sound like that 24/7.
I took a seat in the leather chair and looked at all the achievements and awards my father had hanging on his wall, some from high school, some from college, and some that he earned later on in his life. They were practically glaring in my face like the sun or something. I felt like half of these awards were ones he earned recently...Had I really not noticed all my fathers achievements this last year? Or had they been there the whole time?

"David why are you so afraid of being a Rakenson? Don't you know that, that's something to be proud of?" He studied my face for a moment before he actually sat down. "You're not proud of our family name?!" His voice raised, and he wasn't pleased with how long it was taking me to respond.
"Dad, I love our family name, our family is full of successful people. Why would I be afraid of being a Rakenson?" I really didn't feel like arguing with him.
"I don't know David you tell me, because you always act like you're ashamed of who you are, you act like you don't even know who you are..."
"I know who I am dad, I just refuse to let my family dictate how my life should be.  Most of my relatives that lived before me were into business, or law, or politics, or became doctors and lawyers, and I get that...But I'm not sure I want to follow that path dad, that's not what I want to do."

"It's not about what you want to do David, it's about what you need to do."
"Well then what do I need to do dad?" You can't plan your future no matter how hard you try, life is unexpected.

He leaned in closer to me, and I could tell he was trying not to let his anger get the best of him. "You need to start planning where you want to go to college, get rid of your girlfriend, stop playing sports, stop playing that silly guitar-" Those insults didn't really bother me anymore, I was kind of used to it these days.
"Dad! You know that your-" I tried to show him the perfect example of someone in our family that went a different path and was pretty successful, but he wouldn't even let me finish my sentence.

"Don't even mention him David, he's irrelevant and in my eyes he was an unsuccessful idiot that nearly drove our family name down into the pits of hell, kind of like what you're going to do if I don't talk some sense into you."
"Dad, I'm not destroying our family name, we will always be remembered..And besides, Eli would never let our family name be tainted."
"Yeah David, Eli never would and that's my point! You should care about things like that."
"But I don't dad, our family name will die off eventually throughout the generations so get over it, it happens."
"No David, I won't get over it." It felt like it was now negative degrees in this room, he was about to drop a bomb. "Boys carry on the family name, not girls. That's why I was so happy when your mother had you, when you were a child you were the perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect example for others, David you were the definition of a paragon but now....You're just, jussss-"

"Normal?" I asked, as if it were an obvious answer but of course my father objected.
"Hell no David, you're nothing...That's exactly what you are now, nothing." He looked at me even harder. "I wanted the kind of son that would know calculus or physics by now, I wanted the kind of son that would be graduating early. NOT the kind of son that plays his silly little guitar all day long and doesn't even want to go to college!"

"Dad, it's not that I don't want to go to college, I'm just not sure about everything yet." My dad acted like he's never had a moment where he was confused in life.
"What is there to be unsure of David? Sports and music take you no where in life! Get it through your head!"
"Dad, I only play sports for fun, I don't want to do that for the rest of my life but music- yeah, I love it and nothing you ever say will change that. Don't you realize that?"

"Yeah David, I realize that you want to be on the side of the street begging for money in 2 years! Musicians are day dreamers, they think they can paint the world with their silly little instruments but they really don't do shit for the world, it's all in their dumb little minds! David, every time you see a homeless person, they're holding a guitar, you know why? BECAUSE, they're losers that chose the wrong path in life so now they're on the side of the street practically begging for a piece of bread. And does their music help them get money when they're on the side of the street? NO!"
He got up out of his chair and leaned against his desk. "You know, this isn't about you David, this is about our family! If you bring yourself down, you take us all down with you!"

"What about me dad? What about my happiness?" I got up to face him, and I felt the intimidation.
"Your happiness doesn't matter David, it's about the family."
I couldn't stand to even be around him anymore, my dad was just ridiculous and half the time it sounded like he was talking out of his ass anyways, he was completely illogical.
"David don't you dare walk away from me, where do you think you're going?! You know that's just like you, you don't care about anyone but yourself. You're such a fucking failure that you don't even care about your own family."
Why should I care about my family if they didn't care about me? Wasn't that what family was for? I thought families supported each other even when they didn't agree with everything someone was doing. I got up, with my back turned away from him, about to walk out the door. "Fuck this family."