Chapter 27: If Only I Could Read Your Mind: Part 2/3: 

***David's Pov ***

David's dad will look like this for the rest of the story...I lost him while transferring all my simmies so I just re-made him.

  I was in the kitchen, practically dragging my feet against the floor as I walked over to the table, sitting in front of my mother.
Some of my friends didn't even eat dinner with their families, they would eat in their rooms instead.  I always wondered what that was like  but my mother insisted that we all sit together and eat dinner because apparently that was "traditional and correct." She also insisted that it helped our "Familiar relationships."
    "Alright, that looks like everything for today. I guess I'll be back tomorrow night?" Antonio asked, looking at my mother who was eyeing the food up and down.
     "Oh, well I was hoping you could come tomorrow morning and cook us breakfast. And could you please separate the food next time? I really don't like my food touching the other food.You know, group everything together accordingly, don't mix it together." Her fork was like a pitchfork as she poked at the tomato laying on the rest of the stuff mixed together. Her eyebrows peaked a little as she looked back up at him.

     "Ahh yes Mrs.Rakenson! I-I'm deeply sorry about that. I'll do a better job next time!" He was so full of pep and pride but my mother was about to shoot him down, I smirked knowing exactly how this would be. Awkward.

"Oh please! Sorry means nothing to me Antonio. Actions speak louder than words. If you're really sorry...Show me." She said, smiling as wide as she could just to hide the real meaning behind her words. I watched her get up and walk over to him, getting ready to make him leave.

     Antonio quickly turned around to the refrigerator and said "There's some dessert in the fridge if you guys want it, I'm sorry about the dinner...I'll do a better job next time." He had no idea how desperate he sounded, it really bugged me.
    "Oh you didn't have to make dessert" She said, patting him on the back and trying to lead him towards the door. She didn't even bother reassuring him that it was okay, I guess he was getting fired.
This was the 3rd person this month that we hired to be our personal chef and now it looked like he wouldn't be around much longer. The first guy we hired did not know how to clean up after he finished cooking. The second person was a woman with extremely long hair and she always swung it around while cooking so it was No surprise when we found some hair in our food. Antonio was a decent personal chef, he seemed pretty worthy up until now-according to my mother.

     "It was my pleasure, I just hope you guys enjoy it, and I'm sorry for the dinner." He said yet again, still smiling so hard that his lips looked like a crescent moon.
     "Okay well, thanks I'll call you tomorrow" She said, pushing him forward and out the door.

"Goodbye Mrs.Rakenson!" He shouted, before he opened and closed the door shut behind him. Although I was glad he finally left, I was feeling slightly nervous now that I was with my mom, she was always enigmatic which made things awkward. But there was really no room for me to complain because my father wasn't home, he was busy doing some stuff for his campaign. And no dad= no redundant and mundane conversations about Harvard or Princeton.
     "Soooo" Her voice was so dry and monotone as she spoke to me. Sometimes I wondered why she even tried to talk to me, besides the fact that she was my mother. "How was your day?"
    I traced my fork along the edge of the plate, focusing on the bright spectrum of colors on the plate. Red, green, white, "Good."
    "Good? That sounds like a lie to me" I watched as her fork went into her mouth and her eyes lit up. "You know your father and I told your counselor to speak with you today. Did you talk to her?"
    "Yeah." Ugh, why were the so obsessed with me going to college?
    Her eyes chased mine and when they met they slowed down. "What did she say David?!"
    I sighed, thinking about what she said to me. "I forgot, I wasn't really paying attention to anything she said"  I didn't forget, I just didn't really care.

      She put her fork down and sat up even straighter than she already had been sitting. "David! What could possibly be more important than what she had to say? Get your priorities straight, me and your father go out of our way to make sure you'll have a good future ahead of you."
    "I don't ask you guys to do all of that for me...I mean thanks but I don't want you guys to do all that. You know I don't want to go to college!"
     "David it doesn't matter what you want, you're only 17 and you're too young to understand how ridiculous you sound right now...Do you know that there's people out there who wish they could have the opportunities you do?"

     I understood that there were people less fortunate than me in the world but that still didn't make me more excited about going to college. "I know that mom! And I don't sound ridiculous, college isn't for everyone. Would you want to pay for my college education and watch me not take it seriously...That would be a waste of money."
    "David you sound ridiculous, what do you want to do with your life if you don't want to go to college? What else is there to do?" She seriously didn't know the answer to that question? I always told her over and over again, what I wanted to do.
     "I want to be a musician mom and no matter what you and dad say, I'm not going to change my mind...You can't force me to be something I'm not, I want to be a musician not a business owner or a lawyer or a doctor...That's not me."

     She lowered her head and was fiddling with her fingers. "David I just want the best for you, I don't want you to have regrets and be sad...College is a life changing experience." My mom looked like she might cry and I felt bad but I was only saying the truth, I couldn't hide the way I felt.
    "Look mom, maybe I'll change my mind towards the end of this year or next year-"
     She shot her head up at me. "There's colleges especially catered towards music that you could look into."
    " I know mom, maybe ill look into some but you know dad still probably wouldn't be happy if I went to a musical college"
     "It doesn't matter how he feels and I just want you to experience what it's like to be in college...I'll talk to him"

     "You always talk to him and nothing changes" My dad had a very specific view on how life should be and we always argued about it. What kind of clothes you should wear, how you should speak, how you should walk, who you should associate with, what kind of food you should eat, what kind of style your hair was in....It was all bullshit to me.
     "Well you know how your father is David, I can't change that..."
 Things got quiet after she said that, I don't know if it was just me or her that was contributing to the silence. It looked like she was thinking about something, and I had something on my mind that probably wasn't appropriate but before I could stop myself I spoke without censoring myself. "Why did you ever marry him?"

     "DAVID!" She was gasping at me and I knew what I said was bad but sometimes I honestly wondered why she married my father. They were too completely different people but I guessed opposites really did attract.

     The sound of our doorbell was ringing through the room now, it sounded like a bunch of chimes being blown in the air by the wind. "I'll get it" she said, rising out of her seat and walking towards the door in her heels. "Your father probably locked himself out of the house again" she sighed and rolled her eyes even though she was smiling.

     My dad was like a firework, as soon as my mom opened the door he made some big dramatic entrance, screaming and hollering. "Ahhhh!"
    I got up and started walking towards the door before I nearly crashed into my dad swinging my mom around in the air as he cradled her in his arms, grinning extra hard.
     "Baby what's going on? Are you okay..." My mom bumbled, as she tried to steady herself, clenching her fingertips into my dad's shoulder. I watched her look at him, it was obvious she loved him but I still couldn't figure out why. Perhaps my father was different back in the day.

    "Ummm?" I muttered, as I scratched my head and looked at him, waiting for him to explain himself.

     "We're about to open up another business, I just got the deed today, isn't this exciting we've had so many accomplishments this year but this-this is something special." He said as he lowered my mom down to the floor and planted a kiss on her lips. "Mmmuah!"

     My mother looked stunned like she was paralyzed or had been tazed or something. "What?!" She looked around at the room as if she hadn't seen it a million times before. "WHAT! This is crazy...we already have 4 businesses, this will be 5 ...WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THIS ONE?! Don't you think this is a bit much honey?"
     "What? No! It's never too much babe" He gripped her hand and swung it around in the air. "Look, for this business I'll let you decide what you want it to be...A clothing store, a hair salon, or another restaurant, another corporation...Whatever you want."
    The way my dad talked to my mother kind of reminded me of myself, I always spoiled Casey even when she didn't ask me for anything,I guess I kind of got it from him.

     Her face turned towards the ground and she rubbed her temples. "I don't even have a cosmetology license and I only have my associates degree in business management...I can't take on a task like that"
     He took a step back, rubbing his chin while observing her. "Hmmm, you are kind of right about that but you know women aren't really made to be in positions like that anyways...You would do better with the social stuff like sales, don't worry I will find something for you to do if you really want to actually be a part of this business"
    She didn't answer him, I knew she wasn't happy. My mother never finished college the way she wanted to, she only completed 2 years and then her mother died. It was always her goal to get her bachelor's degree in something business related but after that rough patch she never really found the time to go back and finish.
    "I'm your wife I should get first dibs on anything that involves any one of our businesses, I'm not even asking you to pay me...I just want to do something and make myself proud...Don't you want to be proud of me?" She asked him, looking like a child.
     "Of course I do sweetie but only when the time is right...You know it's never too late to go back to school and finish where you left off"  
    She was about to speak again but then she just stopped herself and rolled her eyes at him.

     My dad rubbed her back and looked over at me. "We'll talk about this another time hun, but right now I want to talk about something more exciting that involves all of us."
      She still didn't say anything, I guess she knew better than to start a fight with my dad, he would always get his way so it never really was worth it.
    "We're all going to New York for Christmas-" Was this a joke? We hadn't been to New York in 3 years...Well at least I hadn't. My parents traveled back and forth between New York and Florida, because we had businesses there and most of the time I never went with them.

     I was so excited I didn't even let my dad finish saying what he had to say. "New York?! Seriously?! I haven't been down the 42nd street of Manhattan in ages!" A flood of memories came rushing to me.

      "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow your roll there David! We're not going to 42nd street, not even Manhattan!" He had an odd look on his face, which made me worried.
     "What are you talking about dad?" We always went there, we had a second home there. Well technically it was our first home, but ever since we came to Florida we sort of stayed here and commuted back and forth from time to time.
    "I met some guy, he's really nice and he has a lovely family. He invited us to go to his house for Christmas, you can meet his daughter-she's around your age and your cousin Eli is coming it'll be fun."

"WHAT?!?! Why the hell is he coming? Dad, you know I can't stand him, you know what happened last time. Do you want to see a repeat?!" Me and my cousin were not on good terms, he was the only one of my cousins that just rubbed me the wrong way. I could already hear him bragging about his accomplishments and he wasn't even here, he was such a douche bag and I got heated just thinking about the last time we were in the same room together.
"Because he's your cousin David, and you guys need to work it out. You know his parents are going through a divorce, just be nice and there won't be a repeat of last time. And I think having him around will be good for you- He makes you get your shit together, jealousy is a good thing David...It makes you strive to be better."
"Dad I'm not jealous of him, I just don't want to sit there and hear him talk about fucking bullshit for a whole week." Every time Eli was around we got competitive, even when we were young, it never really changed: Who could ride their bike fastest?  Who could watch a scary movie without crying? Who could hold their breath the longest? Who could do more push-ups?  Once we got older that mantra was the same for the most part but just a tad bit different: Who could grow the most facial hair? Who had the most friends? Who had the most talents? Who was better at sports? Who had the prettiest girlfriend? Who was the better kisser? Who had the most sex? Who had the most scholarships? Who had the better grades?
"Watch your mouth David, we're going to Staten Island, and that's that. Change is good, sometimes it's good to do different things."
I was still peeved, I would rather stay home and celebrate Christmas than go to Staten Island with some random guy and his daughter. "Who the hell is this guy anyways? We don't even know him."
"He's running for Governor in New York-"
"Oh so that's what this is about, I can't say I'm surprised dad." My dad was doing anything he could just to promote himself, it was kind of pathetic.

“David just be happy okay” He said, letting out a sigh as he looked over at my mother and I kind of forgot that she was there because she hadn't said anything. “What do you think about all of this?” He said as he lifted her chin up towards his face.
She still couldn't speak, she just smiled meekly.
"I said what do you think about all of this?" He repeated, yet again.
She finally spoke. "It's nice honey, I'm just really tired right now and I feel a little sick. I think I should go to bed."
"Yeah I think you should too." He agreed, before she walked off towards the bedroom.

    It was just me and my dad now, and he actually smiled at me instead of grimacing at me in disgust. "Women," he rolled his eyes as he chuckled and walked over to me, patting my back. "Come here, I want to talk to you."
He led me towards the room he spent most of his time in, his office. My dad's definition of relaxation was being at a desk and typing away at his computer, he was always working. The only 'artwork' my father had hanging up in his office, was some picture of a moon; He believed that successful people, rarely slept, which was what contributed to their success.

"Sit down, son." Sometimes I wondered what his real voice sounded like, there was no way he could sound like that 24/7.
I took a seat in the leather chair and looked at all the achievements and awards my father had hanging on his wall, some from high school, some from college, and some that he earned later on in his life. They were practically glaring in my face like the sun or something. I felt like half of these awards were ones he earned recently...Had I really not noticed all my fathers achievements this last year? Or had they been there the whole time?

"David why are you so afraid of being a Rakenson? Don't you know that, that's something to be proud of?" He studied my face for a moment before he actually sat down. "You're not proud of our family name?!" His voice raised, and he wasn't pleased with how long it was taking me to respond.
"Dad, I love our family name, our family is full of successful people. Why would I be afraid of being a Rakenson?" I really didn't feel like arguing with him.
"I don't know David you tell me, because you always act like you're ashamed of who you are, you act like you don't even know who you are..."
"I know who I am dad, I just refuse to let my family dictate how my life should be.  Most of my relatives that lived before me were into business, or law, or politics, or became doctors and lawyers, and I get that...But I'm not sure I want to follow that path dad, that's not what I want to do."

"It's not about what you want to do David, it's about what you need to do."
"Well then what do I need to do dad?" You can't plan your future no matter how hard you try, life is unexpected.

He leaned in closer to me, and I could tell he was trying not to let his anger get the best of him. "You need to start planning where you want to go to college, get rid of your girlfriend, stop playing sports, stop playing that silly guitar-" Those insults didn't really bother me anymore, I was kind of used to it these days.
"Dad! You know that your-" I tried to show him the perfect example of someone in our family that went a different path and was pretty successful, but he wouldn't even let me finish my sentence.

"Don't even mention him David, he's irrelevant and in my eyes he was an unsuccessful idiot that nearly drove our family name down into the pits of hell, kind of like what you're going to do if I don't talk some sense into you."
"Dad, I'm not destroying our family name, we will always be remembered..And besides, Eli would never let our family name be tainted."
"Yeah David, Eli never would and that's my point! You should care about things like that."
"But I don't dad, our family name will die off eventually throughout the generations so get over it, it happens."
"No David, I won't get over it." It felt like it was now negative degrees in this room, he was about to drop a bomb. "Boys carry on the family name, not girls. That's why I was so happy when your mother had you, when you were a child you were the perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect example for others, David you were the definition of a paragon but now....You're just, jussss-"

"Normal?" I asked, as if it were an obvious answer but of course my father objected.
"Hell no David, you're nothing...That's exactly what you are now, nothing." He looked at me even harder. "I wanted the kind of son that would know calculus or physics by now, I wanted the kind of son that would be graduating early. NOT the kind of son that plays his silly little guitar all day long and doesn't even want to go to college!"

"Dad, it's not that I don't want to go to college, I'm just not sure about everything yet." My dad acted like he's never had a moment where he was confused in life.
"What is there to be unsure of David? Sports and music take you no where in life! Get it through your head!"
"Dad, I only play sports for fun, I don't want to do that for the rest of my life but music- yeah, I love it and nothing you ever say will change that. Don't you realize that?"

"Yeah David, I realize that you want to be on the side of the street begging for money in 2 years! Musicians are day dreamers, they think they can paint the world with their silly little instruments but they really don't do shit for the world, it's all in their dumb little minds! David, every time you see a homeless person, they're holding a guitar, you know why? BECAUSE, they're losers that chose the wrong path in life so now they're on the side of the street practically begging for a piece of bread. And does their music help them get money when they're on the side of the street? NO!"
He got up out of his chair and leaned against his desk. "You know, this isn't about you David, this is about our family! If you bring yourself down, you take us all down with you!"

"What about me dad? What about my happiness?" I got up to face him, and I felt the intimidation.
"Your happiness doesn't matter David, it's about the family."
I couldn't stand to even be around him anymore, my dad was just ridiculous and half the time it sounded like he was talking out of his ass anyways, he was completely illogical.
"David don't you dare walk away from me, where do you think you're going?! You know that's just like you, you don't care about anyone but yourself. You're such a fucking failure that you don't even care about your own family."
Why should I care about my family if they didn't care about me? Wasn't that what family was for? I thought families supported each other even when they didn't agree with everything someone was doing. I got up, with my back turned away from him, about to walk out the door. "Fuck this family."