Chapter 39: Downer:

Two years later, and finally there's an update lol. I still hate this chapter but, it is what it is.

        It was a big night for the students at Lakewood. A big night full of girls, liquor, and all kinds of drugs. Things were bound to be wild. I wanted to loosen up a bit, have a few laughs, mellow out with a little MaryJane, enjoy the music, and just chill. None of that would happen though, especially with Eli being my God damn shadow.

        “Who’s gonna be here tonight?” As soon as he asked one question, there was always another.                 
       “You’re DD for the night. Right?” He started to walk faster, almost taking the lead without knowing where the hell he was going.

        I wished mom hadn’t decided that he could come with me. Why was his own mom such a freaking let down? Eli wasn’t a baby. Why the hell was it my job to ‘introduce him to my friends?’ My friends were my friends, not his. 

        “Where do you think you’re going?” I stopped walking.

        “Well David, you’re walking so slow-” His voice was irritating as all hell.

        “Look- Don’t do this shit at the party, alright?” I looked at him, feeling a hotness in my chest. Anger, pure anger. I didn’t need that shit tonight. “What the fuck are you even wearing?!?!” He always thought he had to dress up like some fancy Wall Street guy. 

        “I’m wearing class, that’s what I’m wearing.” He fiddled with his tie, still pressing me for questions. “That doesn’t matter anyway!” He threw his hands in the air. “You are DD for the night. Right?”

        A snicker came right out of my mouth. I shrugged, “I guess.”

        He got all riled up, just as I expected. “David! We can’t jus-”

        “Relax. We’re spending the night. Kizzy’s cool, it’s alright.” I studied his reaction so precisely like I had a magnifying glass in front of my eyes.

        “Oh, so now we’re spending the night?” He asked. His face reminded me of my dad’s, when he asked me a shit ton of questions or accused me. I hated that look, that face; it made me want to snap. Everything about him was just like my father.

        “Yeah. Is there a problem?” I was dying for him to back out.

        “No, but you should’ve told me.” He pointed ahead saying, “Let’s go.”

        We kept walking down the street until we finally got to Kizzy’s driveway. Eli kept shit talking about how far I parked my car, and how it made no sense.

         It made no sense to him, but it made plenty of sense to me. No one was going to touch my car. Not only that but, if the cops had decided to show up it wouldn’t look good if I had my car in the driveway. 

        We got to the door and I heard a couple of girls laughing. One of them was definitely Jess, and I was almost certain I heard Casey. I knew her laugh, better than my own. 

        Damn. I was walking into a shit show. I thought about how distant I had been, and midway through my reluctance Jess answered the door. “Shit!” I mumbled.

        She gasped. “Daaaaaavid!” Her smile was gigantic. “I’m so glad you made it!” She pulled me in, with Eli following behind me.

        It was awkward. Standing there, seeing Casey and everyone else talking and making drinks. Jess told us to “relax and wait for everyone to show up.” We sat on the couch in front of the tv, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of them in the kitchen.

         I fiddled with my nails while I sat on the couch, kind of biting them. Cris sent me a text, I didn’t read it though. A sigh escaped my mouth, a real deep one. 

        “Can we talk?” Casey was right in front of me, yet I still was kind of stunned.

        Really, it wasn’t a question, it was more like a demand. “Yeah,” I got up, looking at Kizzy and Jess, glad they weren’t watching. My arm was around Casey, and she led me into a hallway off to the side, talking all low.

        “Do you wanna break up?” Her arms were folded over her chest, she looked angry with me but I could see a wetness in her eyes.

        The last thing I wanted to hear was that question. I mean, I didn’t care really, but I just didn’t want to hear it. The argument wasn’t worth it, so I tried to tip-toe around it. “I just need time. I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy.” There was no effort in my voice, and I was sure she could tell. I was tired; tired of us in general.

        “Okay, I’ll give you your time.” She walked away, talking as she went. "I don't know what's up with you."

        “Case, come on.” I whispered, but she wasn’t hearing it. For a second I thought maybe that would be it. We would just never speak again, and break up; but I knew it wasn’t over. Not yet.

        I needed a hit. Real bad. Collin had a bunch of alcohol on the counter, but I didn’t smell any weed. Not even when I walked in. Drinking wasn’t really what I wanted to do tonight. I wanted to fill my lungs, and empty my mind. The thought of leaving to go score some pot sounded better.

        A door opened down the hall, and I tried to act all cool like I hadn’t just been standing there with a blank stare, and an escape plan. I loosened up once I saw who it was though, It was Melody.

Daunting and daring she was, all dressed up like a black cat. She had heels on, and these studded cat ears. To make it all even better, she had a tail too. I liked it, that look on her; it was different-edgy. Her socks came all the way up to her kneecaps, they were striped with the colors black and blue.

        “I thought you were coming later?” Her voice was ringing with her last word. She said it more like a question rather than a statement. I caught a blush peeking through her cheeks.

        “Nah, ended up coming earlier.” I shrugged my shoulders, and took in her whole body with my eyes. She was watching me stare her down, and I wanted her to. I wasn’t hiding my gaze. “What’s up with the outfit?”

        She clasped her hands in front of her legs like she was holding hands with someone. “Uh- well… Jess lied to me.”

        “Jess lied to you?!?!” I was cracking the hell up. “What do you mean?”

        “She told me it was a costume party, just so I would show up like this. We all came here together, changed, and I was the only one who looked out of place.” Her tone nearly gouged my eyes out of their sockets. “She thought it was ‘sexy.’” She used air quotes, rolling her eyes. “You know- I don’t even wanna be here anymore.”

        “Tell me about it.” I knew I couldn’t leave without Eli. To make shit even worse, I knew I couldn’t do all the things I wanted to do. He was a mole, I didn’t trust him at all. “I can’t leave though.”

        “Why not?”

        “My cousin is with me…” I got quiet. Melody had a habit of asking me questions, and I tried to avoid them.

        “Is this the one you-” I knew exactly what she was referring to.

        “Yup.” I crossed my arms, wondering what she was thinking. “I’m just here for the bud.” I tried to change the topic. Oddly enough, I kind of wanted to smoke with her again.

        She gave me her judging glare, and said “wow.” Her lips really popped when she said that. “I can’t say I’m surprised, David.”

        “What?” I looked at her like she was crazy. “I thought you would-”

        “Smoke?” She asked before bursting out into a frenzied laugh. “I can’t do that.”

        “Why not?” I thought she had something going on. Maybe a drug test or something. “You gotta pee in a cup soon?” I raised my eyebrows.

        I made her laugh. “No,” she kept giggling before she calmed down. “I just wanna be sober, you know? I’m trying to keep a clear conscience.”

        “Keep a clear conscience?” She really had a way of throwing me off sometimes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

        This weird smile emerged on her face, and she started heading to the direction of the kitchen. “It means what it means, David.” 

        Once again she did that little thing she did. Going with the wind, and taking my mind right with her.

***

        It didn’t take long for the party to really kick off. I was tapping my foot to the beat of the music, staring at the coffee table through my squinted eyes. It was littered with green specks, and white papers made for rolling up tobacco. Some makeshift filters were near the rolling papers. They looked like tiny cut up pieces of cardboard from a toilet paper roll; they probably were.

        There was some sweat peeking through my forehead, and I wiped it off with the back of my hand. “I need some air.” I said to Cris, but I didn’t realize that he wasn’t interested in a thing I had to say. 

        “Huh?” Cris broke the kiss he was sharing with Emma. They were so attached, looking like conjoined twins. He had his hands creeping under her shirt, and his hands moved like a see-saw. I could tell he was conflicted.

        Things were about to get awkward, and I didn’t want to be a third wheel. “Nothing, I’m just gonna head downstairs.”

        “Nah man, you don’t have to go-really…” He tried to get up, but Emma pulled his arm.

        “Let’s just stay here!” Her eyes kept dipping down, and darting around like a weed being blown in the breeze.

        I got up and walked to the doorway. “Seriously man, it’s alright. I’ll catch you later.” I waved goodbye, shutting the door behind me.

        Cris said something on my way out, but I didn’t catch it. Whatever he said was muffled and muted by the kiss Emma planted on his lips.

        There were so many people dancing, standing around talking, and enjoying themselves. All I could smell was alcohol as I walked down the steps. It was much cooler down there, even with all of the sweaty people bobbing around.

        My joint was being pinched between my thumb and index finger. I took one long drag; held it in real deep. The taste of smoke warmed my taste buds.

        All the way in the back I could see someone familiar. Squinting my eyes, and trying to figure out who it was; I realized it was Casey. I exhaled, the smoke became a big stormy cloud in front of my face. Once it cleared up all I could see was her; she rolled her eyes and walked away.

        I ignored her, walking further into the room full of people. It felt like I was gliding. I didn’t bump into anyone. All I did was pat their shoulders and say: “Hey,” and “How’s it goin,” or even “Sick party, right?” Everyone just smiled and kept bopping to the music.

        The kitchen was the hot spot of the night, and as I made my way through the entrance I saw why. Lines of people were zapping in and out of the kitchen with red solo cups in their hands. Drinks spattered all over the floor as they all grabbed a drink, and headed back out to the living room.

        It seemed as if the bottle of Jack Daniels was staring right at me. I wanted to drink, but I knew that would be a crappy idea. There was so much alcohol, and I wondered where the hell it all came from. Jess sure had the hookup.

        I turned around, trying to avoid looking at it. It was mystifying and made me feel far away. A girl came up to me. Apparently she knew me, but I didn't recognize her from anywhere. I wasn't even sure if she went to Lakewood. We talked aimlessly about sports. She was getting all close to me.         After a few minutes of feigning conversation, she walked away, telling me to "text her sometime." I knew I wouldn't, but I told her I would and she walked off.

        I leaned back against the counter; watching people dance while I continued to enjoy my bud. The puffs I took were all shallow and short. It was like I was stuck in a trance, just staring at their swaying bodies. A weird syncopated melodic line played over the speakers. It was real fast and frantic; everybody started jumping and I felt the floor shake.

        Just then I realized something. Eli’s face was in the crowd of frantic people, but he wasn’t jumping. He was struggling to make his way out, and he had Melody with him. They fought through the arms of people, twisting through their bodies like they were stubborn tree branches.

        Finally, they made it out. All I did was stand there and take them in for a second, and I realized Melody was stumbling a bit. She smiled like she was at the top of a roller coaster ride. “I need a minute!” She was touching the wall, trying to stand up. Her other hand was on her stomach. I remembered what she said to me earlier. So much for being sober.

        Eli laughed at her before he reached out to try and grab her. The red solo cup in his hands crashed to the ground; spilling out a brown liquid. He wrapped his hands around her waist, and nearly dragged her into the kitchen.

         I watched him walk Melody up to the counter. They stood right in front of various drinks. “Agh! Melody, please…” Eli tried to get Melody off of him. He gently eased her back into the edge of the counter; taking her hand and resting it on the counter. “There.” He said before cracking open the bottle of beer that was in front of him. “You know, thanks to you I spilled my drink.” He gave her this patronizing gaze along with a smirk.

        “I said I’m sorry!” She managed to slowly walk away from the counter, and clung onto the back of his shoulders. “I can send you mone-”

        Eli turned around and faced her. I can tell it kind of disoriented her because she bumped into his chest a bit. She leaned on his chest with her hands, and I knew he was loving every minute of it. He knew what he was doing. “No. It’s alright, I’ve got plenty more.” He winked at her, and stroked her hair like he was pulling weeds.

        “Okay…” She lowered her eyes, and said “You should be kind, and get me a drink too.” A giggle made its way into the air. Melody looked at the bottle of beer behind them.

        Smoke rushed out of my mouth. I started coughing as if it was my first time taking a hit. “You don’t need another drink!” Melody was pissing me off. I got closer to them, and she backed away from him.

        “David, let the girl drink if she wants to.” Eli was glaring at me, and he clasped the solo cup with his hand. He tried to push it behind him, so I wouldn’t get to it.

        I didn’t understand it. Melody was acting all down and out before, but now she was suddenly the life of the party. “You’re both drunk, and she can barely keep her eyes open!” I knew that look. I had seen that look in myself way too many times. “Look at her!” I pointed at Melody who just kept chuckling, looking like she was in another universe.

        “She’s capable of making decisions for herself, you know.” Eli tried to grab Melody by the arm, and lead her away. “Come on, Melly.”

        Melly? Where did that come from? He acted as if he had known her for years. He just fucking met her a few hours ago. 

        They were about to walk away. I was quick and on my toes. Grabbing one of the random solo cups, I tossed it at them. Really, I wanted Eli to get hit with it more than anything. Melody had gotten a little bit of the beer on her. The little brown beads of alcohol ran down her shiny black leather skirt like raindrops on a gutter.

        “David!” She gasped, and I saw a bunch of people turn around and look at the three of us.

        Eli looked like he wanted a fight right then and there. He was tense as fuck, and I could see him holding the impending rage deep inside his chest. The pace of his breath grew deep, and he let out this mutter I couldn’t catch. “You bett-

        Melody stumbled forward when I grabbed her, leading her out of the kitchen. “Come on.” I led her towards the direction of the stairs.

        Walking up the stairs was a real struggle, but somehow Melody managed to move her legs with the direction of the stairs. I opened the door to Kizzy’s room, and closed it with my foot.

        The sound must've startled her because she tried to talk. "I don-" She moved around on my back, trying to break free. "Let me go."

        I locked the door, which made her lunge forward a little bit because of the way my arm moved. She was so warm, and sticky. The smell of alcohol was all over her like she had drowned in it.

        My fingers were getting all covered in whatever was on her, and I felt them slipping. The last thing I wanted to do was tug on her, and tighten my grip. I needed to put her down; I looked straight ahead at Kizzy's bed. It was freshly made, and looked just like the sky; baby blue.

        When I placed her on the bed, she tried to get up. It was amazing how much she wanted to spring forward, even though she couldn't even walk anywhere by herself. Her eyes moved all around, trying to focus on mine.

        I had her pressed into the bed. It was a tense moment, and honestly I was a bit uncomfortable. There was this urge creeping up inside of me. I wanted to kiss her, but then again I couldn't bring myself to do that. The way she was all over Eli, and the state she was in- it just made me feel bad. Sad even.

        The staring contest we were sharing just got more demanding. She was fighting to get up, but I wouldn't let her. "Stay. Stay here, and get some rest." I broke my gaze with her, looking at the door. "I locked the door. You need to rest."

       "I'm no-" She tried to speak.

       "You're drunk," I said. My eyes met her again, and they roamed down a little bit before returning. "So much for staying sober, huh?"

        She gave in, easing into the bed. "Leave." Her eyelids grew smaller. "Get out!" The sound of her voice almost pushed me off of her.

        I got up, and took off my shoes. There was this game of tug of war going on in my mind. Lay on the other side, or leave... I walked closer to the other side of the bed, watching her lay there with her hand on her head. A groan rose out of her lips, and she moved around. I knew I couldn't leave her alone.