Chapter 4: Words are weapons

It was a nasty stormy day and everyone was making noise just like the raindrops were as they were hitting the pavement.

Cris, my sister's boyfriend was having a party tonight. Everyone was talking about it and since the final bell had rung signalling that school was over the rave about the party grew even louder ,even kids that attended other schools were going, it was a big night. "Man I'm gonna get so wasted tonight!"  was pretty much what  everyone was saying.I was second guessing and thinking about going to the party but I decided not to after all me and David had our project to finish and I wasn't into that kinda scene.

I made it into the parking lot and saw David and his girlfriend Casey. He was holding her up into the air "I swear if you don't put me down!" she yelped. I couldn't take my eyes off them.Why, why why? I had been surrounded by David these past few days and I was tired of it. I felt like a stalker even though I wasn't, we just always seemed to meet up somewhere or be forced together, like the project we're doing now. I'll admit maybe I have a small infatuation with him but he wasn't all that.

Her hair a perfect blonde, her teeth a perfect white and all lined up together perfectly, her smile, the glow on her body and face , the sunlight that shined out of her eyes and pierced into his when she stared at him. It was like a scene from a movie she was an angel and he was...Well I don't exactly know what I'd call him but she definitely brought out his good side, she was the sunshine that casted out his dark shadows, she was the rainbow after the rain , god how graceful and perfect she was.

I looked at the pavement drip drop drip drop splash plat everything was noisy, the people, the buses pulling away to take the kids hom- oh shit the buses! Fuck! I totally missed my bus.Damn I thought and thought of what I could do. Walk in this nasty rain or ask my Sister's boyfriend for a lift with them.

"Sis can I hitch a ride home with you guys? I missed my bus because, I was finishing up an assignment in class and then, there was so many people in my way so I couldn't make it to my bus on time." I know I told a white lie but I didn't want to say the real reasoning of me missing my bus.

My sister looked me in the eye and said "Get your own fucking ride or walk it's just rain god damn you act like such a pussy sometimes , me and Cris have plans other than going home, besides Cris's car is a two-seater and I'm not squishing in a seat with your fat ass .. Thank you very much..." Her words were weapons, they shot me down time and time again. I stood there repeating every word she said in my head. Why did my sister have to be such a bitch? As of now I was lying on the wet pavement bathing in my blood and pleaing for help , her words killed me.

Rageful wild fires rose inside my body, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I had chills all down my spine. Thunder was roaring inside of me like a lion protecting their cub from danger and claiming their territory. "You only had to say you couldn't give me a ride I didn't need all of that extra bullshit, have a good time fucking your boyfriend, you slut." I know what I said was mean but I was tired of her walking over me and acting like she could say anything and everything to me , usually I was the better person but not this time.

"Your just jealous you can't even get laid if you wanted to shut the hell up." Cris replied trying to make the situation worse than it was. I just ignored him after all he was pretty much a dick to everyone 24/7 nothing new there. I felt bad for him he probably had a small dick otherwise he wouldn't be such a dick to everyone all the time. 

I decided to stay after and just sit on one of the sofas in the lounge areas and catch one of the late buses, after all it was raining perhaps the rain would lighten up when I was ready to leave.

What are the odds... DAVID! He was signing the sheet all the athletes had to sign before and after practices to confirm they showed up and what not. I wonder if he's leaving now, perhaps I could ask him for a ride? I really didn't want to wait for the late after school buses to arrive. It wouldn't hurt asking the worst thing he could say was no anyways.. 

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"Hey you! Long time no see huh?" David said sarcastically as he saw me approaching him. He was right we saw each other everywhere, but he didn't seem to be annoyed by that.

"Ha! Yeah...Funny"  I said slowly, something was making me feel all weird and not like myself I was nervous. Why had I approached him? I knew from the start I'd make a fool out of myself.

He stared at me hardly for a moment and then asked me a question. "Are you okay? You seem a little... I don't know lost in another world as if something is on your mind." Wow he actually cared, oh who was I kidding I really needed to stop over reacting, I was making myself annoyed.

"Yeah I'm fine I was just thinking about  our project and stuff.. ya know?" I said loosely, feeling my heart pound in my chest was so uncomfortable. I felt sweaty as if the sun was beaming right next to me.

"Oh yeah about that..Cris is throwing a party tonight, I'm sure you've heard about it.. Well I can't come over today because Cris really needs me there. I really need you to finish the project without me." He had a look of desperation on his face and my heart was pounding with anger, he was dumping the whole project on me.

"Well..um sure I guess, I wasn't doing anything tonight anyways, have fun at the party."

What a typical football playing douche bag

"I'm really sorry but if there's anything I can do for you let me know, you scratch my back I scratch yours it's only fair right?" He said and I knew just how to reply.

"Well I missed my bus home and my sister wouldn't give me a rid-" I said teasingly just before he cut me off. Damn he really needed to learn proper conversation etiquette. 

"Eh I guess I could give ya a ride..Let's go." I was shocked he actually said that to me but he really couldn't say no after he just bailed on me with the whole project situation.

**************

The car ride was nice, his car drives so smoothly for such a fierce looking car. His car was also surprisingly clean for a guy.

My bottom was getting warm due to his heated seats,he seriously had the car that anyone would dream about, it was perfect. We seemed to be driving around for what felt like hours to me, and he had his radio blasting some indie music that I surprisingly liked alot, it was different than most of the stuff you heard on the radio these days.

"Home sweet home!" He exclaimed while looking out the window as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. "Thanks." Was all I could really let out, I just wanted to go home.

David looked at me sympathetically, "I'm really sorry you know, I would help you with the project today but I can't let Cris down, he really needs me tonight." I really wished he would just shut up about the stupid project..He was beginning to annoy me.

"It's really not a problem..I wasn't doing anything tonight anyways." I replied coldly, I just wanted to avoid his gaze and get away from him, he made me SO nervous for some stupid reason.

He looked at me confusingly for a moment. Was I making an ugly face? Why was he looking at me like that? "Well like I said if you need anything I've got your back, I owe you one, ya know?"

"Ya..Um sure I guess I'll remember that." I couldn't function around him,he made me jittery and nervous, I had butterflies all in my stomach and he STILL wouldn't stop looking at me which made it even worse.

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Today wasn't any different than any other day besides the fact that it was project day and everyone in the room had a nervous look on their face. Despite some of the students nervousness some of them decided to draw some cartoons on the board, perhaps they were relieving their stress, I don't know . The only thing on my mind was presenting, I really did not want to present today, I hoped the rest of the class to a long time to present their projects so we would run out of time today.

Ms.Johnson seemed to be rambling on for almost the whole period but of course that was probably just me because, I was zoning out. Something caught my eye and it wasn't Ms.Johnson, it was the painting behind her. The painting was beautiful and all I could think about was who painted it, it definitely couldn't have been anyone in this class, could it be? No way they were all far too lazy to create something as magnificent as that.

"Melody..Are you and David ready to present?!?!?" Ms.Johnson asked in a concerning tone. Damn I must have been zoning out AGAIN. Shit, I really didn't want to go first , fuck my life.

"Oh um..Yeah sure Ms.Johnson." I said nervously. I couldn't tell her I didn't want to go up now,that was rude and would make me look like a dumb ass. I had to go up but the worst part was the fact that David didn't even finish the rest of the project with me so he would have no idea what to say. My whole body felt warm, was I going to die of embarrassment right here and right now?

I could feel sweat beads all over my body, totally unattractive but I was just so nervous. Luckily the class was clapping as I demonstrated how our skeleton moved with the motion sensor I put in it. I guess that meant the presentation was going good so far, right?

" I know it's fascinating huh? I will now have my partner David come up and interact with our skeleton model as I explain all of the bodily functions." I said somewhat jittery, I really didn't want David to fuck this up, he had no idea what we were doing.

I began discussing the nervous system and explaining all of its functions but David was struggling. He only had one thing to do...Press buttons and you know what? He couldn't even do that simple task! What an idiot, I was so enraged and getting hotter inside more than ever. I felt like I was on fire it was a complete disaster.

I took a step back from the mic and just wanted to put a paper bag over my head. Please let it be over. Please let it be over. Please let it be over. Those were the only words I kept repeating in my head. "I'm sorry David is having some difficulties, this is not how the presentation was supposed to go Ms.Johnson." I wanted to die right then and there.

Ms.Johnson went up to the class and looked confused. "Well then, I suppose that was an okay project, you guys get a 79, and that's only because I'm being generous, with that can I have my next pair to come up and present their project to the class?" Ms.Johnson really was a bitch sometimes, she was so petty, I mean seriously a 79? She couldn't at least give me an 80 for dealing with a douche bag that only did half of the project?

Later that day I was sitting on a bench outside of the school yard reading Lord Of the Flies, it was something we were reading in my English class and I didn't exactly care for the book it just happened to be my only way of relaxing right now. I loved to read books and when I did I got so caught up in them, I painted pictures in my mind and got lost in the text sometimes so deeply that I didn't even notice my surroundings. Right now was a perfect example, someone was standing next to me and I had no  idea who it was until I looked up.

There he was standing and looking around as if I wasn't there, was he nervous? "We need to talk about what just happened an hour ago." He said coldly, I couldn't believe he was seriously talking to me with that tone of voice, he was the reason our presentation turned out to be a total fuck up.

I stood up to him and looked him dead in his beautiful blue eyes, not caring about the fact that we were so close right now. "What?" I replied just as coldly. I felt so liberated for not getting all nervous, perhaps it was this tension I was feeling in the air I always became pretty bold when I was angry.

"I feel so bad about everything that happened today please let me know what I can do to make it all better...I feel horrible." He was beginning to really irritate me, what would I ever want from him? Today he proved he couldn't even handle a simple task so why would I bother asking him to make me feel better, he should be trying to make himself feel better.

I screwed up my face a little. "It's fine, don't worry abo-" I was about to finish my sentence but he cut me off. Wasn't this like the 100th time he cut me off when I was mid sentence? He seriously needed to stop doing that.

"No seriously, there has to be something you like..Whatever you want I can get it for you...As a gift...My parents are loaded." He said frantically as if I was threatening him.

"I like food and Pacman!" I said laughing, his wealth didn't fascinate me at all but I was guessing it probably did fascinate all the other people he met.

"Okay sounds good, I know this arcade we can go to tonight, if you're free." He sounded excited and I was only being sarcastic.

I got silent for a moment and looked at his eyes and looked away and then looked at them again. It was hard for me to keep eye contact with him, I was getting nervous. "I don't think that's a good idea...Considering the fact that you have a girlfriend and..You know how that goes." I said shyly.

"My girlfriend isn't that type of girl, luckily for me I don't have to deal with all that kind of drama...Just say yes and go the arcade with me or....Are you scared I'm going to beat you in all the games?" He said laughing. Was he serious? There was NO was he was beating ME in ANY game, I was the queen when it come to gaming of any type.

I couldn't help but chuckle, I laughed so hard I had to cover my teeth, I didn't want to make any ugly faces around him. My sister always told me I looked ugly when I laughed hard so it made me self concious. "You're funny but okay I accept your 'challenge' David."

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My head was in the wrong place, later that day I found myself thinking about David and I 'together' as if we were on a date. Totally not acceptable and unusual for me, and on top of that I liked blondes anyways. I have no idea why I was thinking this way but it felt perfect, the way I was picturing this in my mind was perfect, everything was right, my hair was right, I looked beautiful, I was perfect.

Later that night I went to go and see a stylist before I went to go and meet David at the arcade. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and wondered if the glass would break. Would it break from this false sense of confidence I pretended to have because it was all fake? My hair clothes were boring and had no real sense of taste. I was bored with myself it was time for a makeover. The stylist was looking at me and didn't say a word I guess I really was ugly then if she had nothing to say.Damn that sucks.

Eventually me and the stylist came up with something that looked clean yet girly and frilly. I loved it but apparently the stylist could care less as she was looking the other way, what a bitch I thought to myself but I couldn't let her shitty attitude bring me down, for once I had a place to be tonight and it wasn't at home in my room full of books.

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The chilly yet warm summer air caressed my skin all over, the night sky made the air seem even colder, the only thing that was shining was the moon and it was oh so beautiful. My hands were shaking, was David really going to just stand me up like this? I felt so stupid.

Flames were lighting up all inside my body, what an asshole, who did he think he was? I decided I would give it 5 more min and if he didn't show up I would leave.

"Sorry I'm late...I got caught up at home my dad was giving me shit about my priorities and other bullshit...You know how that goes." He said sounding annoyed. I noticed he had a real habit of being late to class because of Cris, bailing on school projects because of Cris, and just being late in general he really needed to get himself together.

"Do you do this to your girlfriend" I said without noticing what I had ACTUALLY said, I was so dumb. Why would I say THAT of all things? Why hadn't I just said 'oh yeah sure it's okay'?

"What does my girlfriend have to do with anything?" David said sounding annoyed, oh no I didn't want to seem like a pest, I was just going to shut up for the rest of the night, I felt so foolish.

The arcade was empty, it was just me and David there. We took our seats and I just stared at him while the scent of nachos filled the air, damn I wanted some nachos BAD but I didn't want to look gross for eating in front of him, it was just too soon for that.

We sat there for a few more moments without saying a word until David decided to speak. "I have a bad hang over from that party last night...You should've come it was so much fun, you know it really sucks we go to school Saturdays and Sundays too otherwise I would've been sleeping all day today and not in our annoying school." He said indifferently.

"Hmm sure sounds interesting" I said sarcastically. He was the typical jock douche bag I expected him to be drunk by the night, and plagued with a hangover by the day. I didn't even know why I was here.

He looked at me as if he was confused. "Well I wasn't expecting that...Do you not hang out with your sister at all? She's a total party girl I thought you would know a thing or two about being hungover." The curiousness in his voice irritated me, why was he asking me such a stupid question? Did I of all people really look like the hangover kind of person?

"No actually I don't know anything about being hungover and I sure don't wanna know about it... My sister is just that, my sister, just because she's my sister doesn't mean we're anything alike... I'm MELODY musical.energetic.lovely.original.daring. and young I'm NOT Jessica." I spat out. I was so sick and tired of everyone comparing me to her, I seriously needed to make a name for myself because, this was getting ridiculous. I must've intimidated him because he didn't say much after that and then just asked if I wanted to play some games.

I  must admit I was having fun that night kicking his ass in all the games in pretty much all the games we played. David was pretty competitive but not competitive enough to beat me.

"This game is riggged!" David exclaimed. "How about we try something else?" I agreed. I was getting sick of watching him lose every game even though it was pretty funny and kind of cute at the same time. The coin slot at the end of the machine dispensed a bunch of gold coins out to my side of the machine. I picked the coins up and placed them in my pocket, I was loaded so far but soon that was all about to change, David suggested we play a game that  was not my forte. 

"Pool...Unless you're scared." David whispered in my ear. The warmth from his breath gave me chills, he was so close to me and I didn't know what to think. "I- I- Guess-Let's play." I struggled, but I managed to say it. Damn him.

I lined the stick up with the ball and pushed the stick forward with a gentle amount of force but yet a force still harsh enough to make the ball move and of course all of the balls moved but none of them fell into one of the holes. I really sucked at this game.

With David on the other-hand it was a totally different story, he was really good at pool. Every time his stick hit the ball one of the others would fall into a hole, he was kicking my ass but I was still trying.

Me and David were standing there for a moment kind of zoning out as if we were in a haze. I looked at him he was focusing on the song that was playing by an indie band. The soft angelic voice of the lead singer was wrapping around me and clenching me, it was inescapable, it was beautiful and breathe taking, I never wanted the song to end, and surprisingly I knew the song. "Dance with me." David said once he somewhat broke his trance. "Um...No..This song is pretty slow we can't exactly dance." I said lowly, there was no way I would dance in front of him let alone anybody. "We can slow dance." He replied. My grip tightened on the pool stick was he serious? "I don't th-" He cut me off and said "Please...I love this song... Just one dance with me." I couldn't refuse I guess he was right and truth be told I loved the song too "Fine." I said and me and David proceeded to put our pool sticks away.

My hand was shaking the entire time we danced. His right hand was placed on my lower back, he was pretty much touching my butt and it was awkward as hell. He smelled so good and had good rhythm, unlike me who was reacting to every step we took. It was my first time ever slow dancing so I didn't know how to dance that way really but I tried to follow David's lead.

"Are you ready for the best part?" David whispered into my ear suggestively. Damn he really had a way with using his words, but what exactly did he mean?

David's soft warm lips crashed into mine. Everything happened so fast, and that was my first kiss. I kept feeling his tongue trace my bottom lip and pulled away. He looked me in my eyes and I looked away.

My attempt at pulling away from David was partially unsuccessful he wasn't letting me escape his embrace even if it meant his last breathe counted on it. He spun me around and I backed away from him a little only to realize that the edge of the pool table was right behind me, I was cornered. "David, why did you do that?" I whispered softly.

I wrapped my arm around David and brung myself even closer to him. Where was this sudden confidence coming from? I mean I was nervous as fuck but for some strange reason I felt very comfortable with him in this moment. David still hadn't answered me, he was just looking into my eyes and I was looking into his. "David we shouldn't be-" David cut me off and let out a "Shhhh!"

David attack my lips once again but I must admit I liked it. I had felt so warm inside but suddenly my body was feeling cold all over, the kiss was nice. David's hand softly graced my back and I felt chills run up and down my spine. God what was he doing to me? I let out a soft whimper in between the kiss but I didn't want it to end however it did sadly.

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"Uh...I don't really know what to say but could you please not mention this to my girlfriend, I was thinking about her the whole night and that's why I kissed you, I'm really sorry." Wow I thought to myself, what a douche bag but then again what could I really expect, I mean after all how could I really think that him of all people would be interested in me? "Melody??? Are you listening?" He asked worriedly. 

I could feel my eyes burning as tears were about to spill from my eyes, oh no please not now I thought to myself, not here , not in front of David. I gulped trying to hold back the tears, I didn't want to speak, I felt like if I did the tears would come flooding out of my eyes like a levee holding back tidal waves. "Oh um yeah.. Of course, I totally understand, I had a good time, that's all that matters, that kiss never happened." I said slowly and quietly as if I was mumbling.

"Great! Well I'll see you tomorrow, I had a good time too, Bye Melody." He said quickly and indifferently as if he didn't really care and had somewhere else to go. He was a bipolar douche bag.

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The pool water from the pool in my backyard was making tranquil wave noises due to the wind making it move about. I felt cold all over but I didn't know if it was because of the breeze or the fact that I had just pretty much been rejected. My cheeks were warm to the touch. Why did David kiss me?

Was David seriously thinking about his girlfriend the whole night? There was no way he was, damn I knew school was going to be much more awkward now, maybe not for him but it definitely was going to be awkward for me. How could he kiss me and just reject me like that? He had me so confused and sitting here in my backyard being constantly marauded within my mind from the thoughts of tonight...What was he doing right now though? Probably partying I though to myself...For some strange reason I just wanted to know what he was doing right then and right now but how....?