Chapter 31: Becoming a Butterfly

I'm already regretting posting this chapter but it is what it is... I tried to be tasteful about everything but there's different strokes for different folks. Some of you may be turned off by certain things so after a certain point there's another warning, where you can end the chapter before things get kind of awkward. :) Not gonna lie, this was hard to write about and I'm not even a guy... Lol I did my best though. ^_^

"Okay class, I'm going to run to the bathroom really quickly, stay quite and don't cheat, otherwise I will invalidate all of your test scores." Ms.Johnson was flailing her blood red pen around on our homework from last night, I had no idea how she managed to multi-task so much in one day. 

    When she got up she took the papers with her. I must admit, I imagined her sitting on the toilet grading papers, she was so strict and focused it was almost scary. Click, clack, click, clack. Her heels echoed through the hall and then suddenly the echoing faded, she was out of sight and out of ears reach.

      A small giggle wiggled between my lips and David noticed, asking me: "What's so funny?" 

      "Oh nothing." There was no way in hell I was telling him what was really on my mind, that would be too awkward.

     He smirked, leaning in slightly closer towards me. "It's not nice to keep jokes from your friends." He scolded.

      "Oh yeah? Well, do you know what's even ruder than that?" The whole class was talking by now, most of them were sharing answers and what not but I still whispered. 

      A tickle weened it's way along my cheek as I felt his warm breath graze against my face. "What?"

      Before I made a fool out of myself, mini melody held her arms out and caught me. "Letting your partner fail their test." I hushed, waiting for him to respond.

"You're not gonna fail." He slid his  notebook over to my side and peered over towards the door. For some reason, Ms.Johnson gave us specific notebooks she took the time to put tests in, it was weird but she claimed she 'saved paper' that way. "Help yourself, I'm not too sure about those last few questions though."

"Thank you so much." I sputtered my words out of my mouth like a machine gun, and proceeded to rush on, jotting down as much as I could. 5 was a, not b. 7 was b- Hey I got one right! 

The smells of a sugar rush zipped across my nose, bouncing off the desk as they ran straight through my nostrils again, I had to stop myself and look around.

I knew I wasn't going crazy, David slipped a roughly shaped, ruby colored piece of candy between his lips. "Someone has a sweet tooth." I snickered.

"Hey all star! Come over here!" Janelle hollered, from the back of the room.

Curvy and glistening under the light, a smile ran along his lips. "Yeah, I guess." He shrugged, and stood up. "I'm going to go talk to Janelle and the other people back there." 

A slight nod was all I gave to him, I had heard all about his little victory last night. Apparently, he stole the show during the game. Everyone, and I mean everyone as in everyone and their mother was talking about the game last night. It was kind of annoying because I really didn't understand all the sports terminology, let alone sports in general so it was like they were speaking Chinese. 

I looked back down at the paper, turning both of our notebooks to the next page and the sight was pretty monstrous. What the fuck was this... Hieroglyphics? I was wincing just trying to read his response, but I wrote down as much as I could understand. 

There was a graph on the very last page and his graph was pretty horrendous too. I turned his notebook to the front page and pushed it over towards his side of the desk, trying to figure the graph out on my own. The protozoa were incubated in Rumen fluid for 8 hours, please construct a graph based on the data given below, labeling the correct axis for each variable given. There were so many numbers, it looked impossible but I started counting up by 10's on the y-axis. 

Click, clack, click, clack. That haunting sound of her heels against the tile floors sent chills through the classroom. Everyone grabbed their papers and headed back to their seats, pretending that they had done nothing wrong while she had been gone.

It was kind of funny when David made his way back to his seat because it almost looked like he was trembling. Before I knew it, he reached into his bag and I caught a glimpse of a bright colored bag. He pulled out a Jolly Rancher and rolled it around in his mouth. It was pretty obvious he had a bag full of candy in his backpack, I guess he really was enjoying being done with football. He was like a sugar addict or something. His boredom was showing right through his stance as he hunched over.

"Alright class, I'm back." Ms.Johnson walked through the door and put the stacks of papers back on her desk. "There's only 5 minutes left in the period, you guys can start handing in your tests but I honestly would check it over again." She shook her head. "After grading your homework I can tell you guys need all the help you can get." Everyone was struck by her stern demeanor. "It's such a shame that I gave you guys 99 questions to do for homework and more than half of you bombed the assignment. You guys need to step it up." 

I was so focused on finishing that graph, studying my axis before I drew my best curved line. It was like I hit the mute button on a remote, because I could barely hear Ms.Johnson's bullshit speech about how we 'need to do better.' 

With a few light strokes, I had a nice curve that went through about most of the points. I put my pencil down, feeling somewhat accomplished but then I felt bad.

Without hesitating, I turned back to the second page and changed some of my answers. I didn't want to get too high of a score, I feared that she would question me especially since I had been bombing all the quizzes she gave. 

If I failed, that would suck and if I passed that would be awesome. I guess all I really could do was wait and find out. There really was no point in stressing over it, I sighed and closed the test. 

Brrrring! Just on time. Thank God this period of hell was over, now all I had to do was actually walk out of here and save my self from the burn of boredom.

"Alright, everyone hand in your notebooks or have your partner hand it in for you. I will see you all tomorrow and we can start talking about your Christmas break assignment."  Ms.Johnson was talking, still grading papers as she was doing so.

All I could think about was getting out of this place for Christmas break in 2 weeks but now this evil witch had the nerve to give us an assignment. Who did she think she was? Didn't she know that this was a time for families? Hell, did she even have a family? With a heart as hard as hers I was guessing she didn't.

"Gimme." David held his hand out towards me, motioning for me to give him my notebook.

I placed it in his hand and grabbed my pencil off the desk, thanking him again. "Good looks." I winked, hoping he would get the hint at what exactly I was thanking him for.

His smile indicated that he clearly understood what I meant. "No prob."

"David!" Ms.Johnson urged, "Let's go." We were the last ones in the classroom.

"I actually had to talk to you about something on the test." He walked over towards her desk and placed our notebooks on it.

Ms.Johnson looked up at me and eyed me up and down. "Carry on, this doesn't concern you Ms. Wiggings." She pointed her blood red pen towards the door and it made my blood boil. 

She was such a bitch, but I had to do as she said and walk out the classroom.

***

A few days later...

*If you're sensitive to feminine issues, you might want to end this chapter right here*

It had been 3 days since we took our test in Bio. 3 long days of tension, anticipation, and dread. The test results wouldn't be in until next Monday, the 14th and it was killing everyone.

I was laying on my bed, getting ready to go to sleep. Croy and Adrianne were going to an art show tonight. They actually weren't going to go because she was having pains again but she insisted that they went, so they did.

It was just me and Allyson but she still wasn't really talking to me. She was up in her room doing god knows what. I was starting to believe she was doing some weird ritual or something because she was quiet as fuck up there.

The window had little white frost coatings on it, and it only reminded me that winter was right around the corner. It was December 10th which meant there were only 10 days left until winter officially began, and 12 days left until our break started. We would be back in school by January 5th but at least it would be a 2 week vacation.

I turned on my left side,  squirming and moving my legs as if I were under water. "Owwww, ugh." Something didn't feel right inside of my body, there was a slight pain inside my stomach and I shot off the bed.

Maybe I wasn't eating enough? Oddly enough these past few days I actually had a desire to eat things. That still didn't mean I actually ate that much more though.

A nice gigantic bowl of strawberries was etched into my mind- Strawberries smothered in melted chocolate and topped with hazelnuts or better yet... Coconut flakes, mmmm.

I went up stairs into the kitchen, and pulled open the door to the refrigerator. We had a lot of stuff jam packed inside of our fridge, it kind of explained why Adrianne cooked such large portions.

My eyes veered around the little pockets and valleys created by the bundles of bread we had stuffed in there, it was like a god damn maze. Eventually, I found most of the fruit all the way at the bottom of the fridge. Grapes, kiwis, lemons, limes, oranges... Or tangerines? Or maybe they were grapefruits? Clementines? Mandarins? It was kind of funny how 5 citrus fruits resembled one another to a certain degree. I shook the thought out of my mind once I found the strawberries, they looked so rosy and ripe.

You don't need it. I examined the strawberries once more and then put them back in their place, grabbing a bottle of water instead. My craving had subsided and suddenly those strawberries seemed less enticing.

The stairs seemed lighter when I walked on them, it was like walking on a cloud. As I walked into my room, I felt the urge to use the bathroom, so I placed my bottle of water on my dresser and dawdled through my bathroom door.

Pulling my sweat pants down to my knees and doing the same with my underwear, I sat down on the toilet. My heart nearly exploded in my chest once my eyes deviated down towards my underwear. What the fuck?! 

They were stained. A maroon yet almost very dark copper colored stain was saturated within the cotton fibers of my underwear. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh shit!" I panicked, looking all around the bathroom as if there was actually something in there that would help me right now.

I knew about periods, but I still was scared out of my mind. I thought blood was supposed to be red, not whatever color this was... This stain just looked so scary and menacing like I would die any second if I sat there any longer. 

"ALLYSOOOOON!" I screeched from the top of my lungs, hoping that she wasn't sleeping or something. "Please come here!" I huffed. "It's important!"

I peered at it again, afraid to look... I was nearly 16 and it kind of was about time for me to get it... But was it really my period?

"Ugh, why are you being so God damn loud Melody?!" She nagged from behind the door.

I felt like an idiot. Me and Allyson didn't really know each other that well and I was about to ask her about something pretty personal. I remained silent, thinking of how she would react if I told her why I called her.

Allyson pounded on the bathroom door. "You made me get out of bed and now you have nothing to say?!" I knew she was on her last nerve when she said: "You better talk before I open the door." she threatened.

"No! You can't come in!" I looked down at my trembling knees. "I'm half naked!" I pleaded.

"Eww what the fuck?!" She mumbled something inaudible between the door. "I'm outta here."

"Allyson please! You can't go!" I whimpered, calling out her name in sheer desperation. If she walked away what was I going to do? "Allyson, I - I" I looked back down at the bloody mess between my legs. "I think I'm bleeding internally."

"Umm, what the hell." She stopped and took a breather. "What do you mean you think you're bleeding internally?"

"Well, there's blood in my underwear..." I murmured, already anticipating her scorching response. It was such a simple thing that seemed like common sense but I really was afraid, this was all new to me. It's one thing to hear about something from a million women all your life, but to actually experience it... Is a completely different thing.

Her laughter seemed to go on and on from the other side of the door, it was endless. "Melody, are you serious right now?!" She sounded like a clown from behind the door, I wanted to punch her in the face. "Mel, I'm pretty sure it's just your period...." She stalled and muttered something under her breath, which I couldn't hear. "You do know what that is right?" I could sense the slight worry in her voice now. "Never mind, just hold on okay... I'll be right back."

My mouth felt dry like a desert, and the sound of Alllyons's footsteps going up the stairs re-winded through my mind as if a song was playing.

This was real, my body was gripping me by the hair, dragging me into the part of life I knew nothing about and it didn't care if I was ready or not. I was no longer a girl, I was becoming a woman. The thought of being biologically mature was mysterious and it made me stoic.

Tap, tap, tap. My body was half way covered in a sheet of ice, I felt paralyzed. "Umm, I kind of have to come in, I have a lot of stuff in my hands... I promise I won't look." My thoughts had pulled me so deep into their vortex that I didn't even realize Allyson had returned.

With sudden instinct, my legs snapped shut and I covered my forbidden area with my hands, as if I were Eve in the Garden of Eden, covering the most sacred part of her body when God had found her. "Ermm, you can come in." I muttered.

Instead of walking in she opened the door, shielding one side of her face as she said: "Okay ummm yeah, this isn't gonna work. I'm sorry for what I'm about to do but you might want to duck your head." She stood by the door, still covering her face as she slung about twenty different boxes of feminie products onto the bathroom floor as if they were grenades.

I stared at them all, it was like I was a soldier standing in the middle of a battlefield. They all seemed to promise security... But which one was actually secure? The pad with wings that made it look like it could fly in the sky like an airplane? Or the tampon which looked like a bullet attached to a piece of string?

Allyson had the door half way closed before she spoke. "Are you okay? You're pretty quiet..."

"I'm just unsure of what to do right now." I admitted, glancing down at the... Mess in front of me, it looked like a scarlet massacre had taken place.

"Honestly, you should clean yourself up before actually doing anything... I know you hate your bathtub but it will help with the cramping if you're in pain."

I cringed at the thought of that. "I don't want to sit and bathe in a pool of my own blood! That's gross!"

She sighed, closing the door shut. "Your uhh.. 'love canal' closes up when your in water like that." This was probably one of the most awkward situations I'd ever experienced in my life, and I was going to spare Allyson from this moment too.

"Oh, okay..." I said, waiting for her to walk away.

"I'll be upstairs if you need me, alright?" She asked, as if she wasn't really bothered by anything that just happened.

"Okay..." I looked down at the floor before I mumbled: "Thanks."

A slight and faint chuckle came from the other end of the door. "No problem."

***

If there was anything I was actually learning about 'being a woman,' it was the fact that in one second a perfect pair of underwear could get ruined... Even your sweatpants.

After all was said and done, I felt somewhat better- uncomfortable, but better. The thought of me bleeding to death from the inside out had vanished from my mind, so that was a plus. My cramps were soothed by the warm water in the bathtub, but as soon as I got out the cramps careened their way right back into my stomach. I put on a dark pair of shorts and a long white shirt, feeling a rush between my legs as I stood up.

I stacked the endless boxes of feminine hygiene products that were scattered along the bathroom floor a few minutes ago, onto my towel rack. Allyson would have to wait, I was too distracted to try and give them back to her.

I headed upstairs, surprised to find Allyson sitting on the floor, watching tv. Bleep, bleep, bleep. Whatever she was watching definitely wasn't child friendly. "Hey!" She waved me towards the couch. The way her legs crossed over each other, and how she was leaning slightly towards her right side, reminded me of one person, Jess.

Sisters were supposed to be there for each other in moments like these, but I supposed that was out of the question now that we didn't live together. We were still in each others lives but so far away and disconnected from each other at the same time. 

Taking a seat on the couch, I looked at Allyson, smiling as best as I could. I was so unsure of what to say to her. "I'll give you all your stuff back, I don't feel like it right now though."

"Oh, no! You can keep it... I don't use that stuff anyways." She shrugged her shoulders, "I've moved onto the cup, it's so much better than that crap." Her smile grew wider. "I'm so glad those things will finally be of use to someone, between me and my mom... We don't use em'."

I knew nothing about womanly things. "The cup?" I asked, fiddling with my invisible leg hair, wondering why it was blonde even though the hair on my head wasn't. I was almost afraid of what she would say.

"Yeah, a menstrual cup... You uhh-" She looked around the room, "Put it ins-"

"Oh! Okay! I get it..." I said, trying not to make her finish her sentence.

She chuckled to herself, looking over at me from the corner of her eye. "You're so innocent." She turned to me and sighed. "It's okay though, there's no rush for you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. As long as you're comfortable that's all that matters." An image of utter terror ran across her face in a flash. "But if you decide to try using a tampon do not... And I MEAN IT- Do not leave it in for longer than 3 hours." She looked at me and raised her eyebrows, pointing her finger at me. "You could die."

"WHAT?!?!" I exclaimed, hoping she was joking.

All she did was shake her head at me in dismay. "TSS, look it up." She sighed as if I was annoying her. "Do you even know ANYTHING about your body? Do you even know what getting your period technically means?"

I remained silent, just looking at her with a blank stare on my face. My mother told Jessica everything about 'being a woman.' Hell, she even took her out to celebrate that very same day. A burning sensation was growing inside of me, I was always second best and I knew I always would be, I was always out of the loop, forever and always. "I've heard some things... Why?"

"Your mom never told you about those things...?" She was resistant, I could feel it but she still continued. "It's okay, my mom never really told me anything either. When she found out I got my period she said 'congratulations, don't do bad things...' I had to figure the rest out on my own." She groaned. "It took me 2 years to figure out exactly what she meant when she said 'bad things.'"

"Yeah, I can get pregnant now... I know that, big deal." I rolled my eyes, knowing that a pregnancy wasn't in my future anytime soon. "I'm not having sex for a long time so that's not an issue for me."

"Mel, having sex doesn't make anyone a bad person." She looked a little angered by my response. "Life happens, and love is unexpected." She froze for a moment, and her eyes seemed to wander off into the past. "Whether or not you keep your legs closed isn't the most important thing in life.... But leaving your heart wide open for someone is something everyone should wait on at this age because that's such a huge deal.... Abstinence doesn't always work for people, that's life , but love- that can wait." 

I looked at her and for the first time that was when I saw something in her that I never knew she had, and I wasn't even sure if she realized it herself. "You're going to be a great sister." I said,smiling as I thought about how she complained about Adrianne being pregnant. She may have resented Adrianne but I knew she wouldn't resent her little brother or sister.

She shook her head. "No,  I'm not sister material." She always said she wanted to be there for someone younger than her, yet here she was giving me advice and she thought she wasn't good enough to be a sister.

"Oh please, you totally could be a sister... There's no qualifications on what a sister is anyways." Me and my sister definitely were a good example of that.

Allyson started smirking and she snapped her fingers. "Hey, I guess we kind of are blood sisters now." She stuck her tongue out at me and it wasn't until I repeated it to myself that I actually understood what she meant.

"Okay, that's enough woman talk for the night." I rolled my eyes and started thinking about school. Ugh, did I really have to go back there?

"Yeah you're right, that's enough woman talk for the night... Tell me about 'Mr. Rich Guy.'" 

I lowered my eyes at her, knowing she was partly true even though I was going to deny her statement anyways. "He's not rich, he just has a successful family."

"Rich, successful family." She was practically counting with her fingers as she spoke. "Prep school, Nice house on the good side of town...." She rubbed the bottom of her chin and her eyes lit up. "Hmm, I'd say he's rich."

"Yeah, I agree but he gets angry when I make comments like that." I had no idea why we were talking about this but I didn't want to be talking about him with her. "It doesn't matter anyways, he hasn't been talking to me." I sighed, not because I was upset, but because he was so confusing.

Her smile slowly deflated and fell flat like all four of the tires on that Dodge Caravan she had out front. "What did you say?"

"Me?" I asked, pointing to myself in shock. "I know I have my moments, but I promise you it wasn't anything I did that made him start acting all funny."

She looked at me even more intensely, and that look was all it took for me to cave in and tell the truth.

"Okay, fine. I made a little comment about his handwriting and said he had 'chicken scratch' and he's been pretty distant since then but it's not just me... It's everyone else too."

The intensity of Allyson's gaze waned a little bit. "Well, you know what they say.... 'More money, more problems." 

"Huh?" I wasn't following.

"Most people with money have issues, money doesn't make people happy... Statistics do show that even some of the richest people out there are depressed or strung out on drugs." She furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't know why he would get so mad about a comment you made about his handwriting but don't sweat it... He'll get over it."

For some reason her words really stuck with me, David was kind of mysterious. I went to his house several times yet I still felt like there was something he wasn't telling me, there were things about him that still remained unknown to me, things I desperately wanted to know, but I didn't want to seem desperate either. "I hope so." I mumbled under my breath, even though I really was worried he wouldn't get over it. Something was up, I knew it from the way he acted distant and edgy when we did that lab together last week... Something was up and I wanted to know. That black cape that surrounded David was about to come off because, I wanted to see it all.