Chapter 34: 15 Going on 16: Part 1/3

     "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Melodia! Happy birthday to you!" I was hoping they would shut up by now and leave it at that but nope, they didn't. Croy, and Allyson kept going on.
      "Are you one, are you two, are you three, are you four, are you five , are you six, are you seven, maybe more?" They were seriously way too giddy and excited for no reason.
     I pulled the covers over my head. "Ugh, please stop." I grumbled, but they just kept clapping and singing, off beat and off key. I winced, wondering how they even got in my room.
         "How old are you now? How old are you now? How old are you nooooow? How old are you now?" Allyson tapped my bed, singing even louder. "Come on, get up birthday queen!"
     "Stop!" I screamed, jumping out of bed. "There! I'm out of the bed, are you happy now?!"

     They both smiled at me, and my uncle threw his arms wide open. "Like the changes we made?" He was grinning from ear to ear when he asked that. It almost seemed like he was more ecstatic about my birthday than I was.
   I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my glasses from my nightstand. What was once a big blur, had turned into an even bigger blur. We hadn't even put up Christmas decorations yet or even gotten a tree, but they changed my room around while I was asleep. It was almost scary that I didn't hear them, but they did a pretty nice job.
My room was no longer 'open.' There were cobalt blue curtains cascading from the windows, almost the same color as the sky. They ever put mirrors in front of the other windows in the corner of my room. It seemed like such a little thing but it really made me happy, I finally had privacy.
   In the corner there was a glass box filled with tiny trees and water plants. It was like a mini aquarium, all wet and wild looking. "What's in there?" I asked, doubting that there was actually a turtle in there. It just seemed too good to be true.

      "Why don't you go up to it and find out?" Croy asked while giving me a gentle push towards the other side of my room.
      It was like I was taking baby steps as I approached the tank. A cute little turtle was baking in the UV light that was striking its back. "Aww it's so cute." I pipped, with my eyes all googly and wide.
I quickly shot my head in their direction. "Is it a boy or a girl?" I asked.
    "It's a boy. He's so calm and he loves sitting up on that rock." He turned to Allyson, "When we were in the store he was the only turtle that seemed-okay."  He sounded disturbed.
      "Yep. All the other turtles looked like they were on speed. We figured you'd need something a bit more calmer right now." Allyson chuckled, "Isn't he perfect?"
        My turtle was so cute, I couldn't resist reaching in and grazing my fingers along his shell. "I love him, I'm gonna have to give him a name, a cute one." He was charming in his own little testudine way.

     I got up like an awkward little girl and my hair swung around in the air. "Thanks, guys." I mumbled, looking at my toes. My chipped baby blue nail polish only made my jagged toe nails look worse. Yuck!
      "No problem, that's what family is for- Getting you cute turtles and sneaking into your room at night to put up curtains that should've been there a long time ago." She peered over at Croy, and they both exchanged awkward looks.
"I love you guys." I grinned, motioning for them to get closer. "Come here."
Croy cradled me in his arms, swinging me back and forth as my cheeks got all puffy and looked like two fluffy chubby bunnies on my face. "Okay, okay, I'm not a kid anymore." I scorned.
"Awww Melly's all grown up." He cooed, only making me feel even more child-like.
Allyson just stood there with her hands on her hips, smiling as if I hadn't motioned for her to come over and give me a hug too. I guess she just wanted to keep herself at a distance, I ignored it. She looked so done-up, her hair was curled and she even had bright red lip stick on. The heels she was wearing nearly added 5 inches to her height and her white dress made her look super slim. Her baby blue heels were just shouting at me. Where the hell was she going dressed like that, at this time in the morning?
I was almost surprised Croy didn't say anything, her whole stomach was out. Adrianne was in a terrible mood after last week, lately she had just been locking herself up in their room and staying there. I guess she didn't see Allyson yet, either that or she saw her and just didn't care.
"Well, I'm gonna go get ready and stuff." I looked over at my bathroom door, hoping they would get the hint. "I look like crap right about now."
As soon as I said that, Allyson jumped in and grabbed me from behind, joining the hug-fest. "You won't look like crap for long, get yourself together and I'll help you out with everything else."

They got out of my room, I took off my glasses and went into the bathroom, to take a bath. The water soaked into the pores of my skin, pushing out all the crud beneath it. I dunked my head underneath the water and did the same with my arms, completely taking myself under. When I came back up the air felt like icicles against my face and neck.
I got out of the bath when my skin started pruning up and my finger pads looked like the faces of raisins.  It was kind of funny how water was associated with youth yet it made my fingers look all wrinkly, I laughed silently.
Throwing my hair up in a bun, and grabbing some random sweat pants to throw on.  I spritzed some perfume around my neck, it made me feel even colder than I already had. There was always that horrible period of coldness after stepping out of the shower or the bath. I started to realize something, I had this sudden desire to buy more clothes and get rid of some of the old clothes I had.
The Lakewood uniforms were plain and there was nothing I could do about that. But my wardrobe outside of school didn't have to be plain too. I had nothing that had that 'wow' factor. Maybe I could get Allyson to go shopping with me?

Knock, knock, knock. "You dressed?" Allyson questioned as I heard her hand grip around the door knob.
"Yeah, you can come in." I said, brushing some of the dust off of my mirror, I really had been in my own little world lately.
She breathed a sigh of relief, "Ahhh, perfect." I widened my eyes as she walked over, her face was covered in makeup, her eyes were lined, and her cheeks were just glowing. To top it all off, she had a bunch of makeup products in her hands as if she wasn't wearing enough already, she dumped them on the dresser.  "I have a date tonight." Her mouth went agape, "Well, ermm, Not tonight- today, and then into the night." she rolled her eyes and puffed out a huge gasp of minty air which chilled my entire face. "It's a whole-day kind of date."

     "Wow, he must be special." Allyson never said she had a boyfriend, I barely ever saw her talk to any guy on the phone, and the only guy she hung around was Denver.
    "He is!" She exclaimed, holding onto my arms. "Mel, you have no idea how special He is to me, we've been through so much shit together. He's like my ride or die, he never leaves me. Ever." She was shaking me back and forth with her words as she spoke.
     Gently easing her hands off my arms I said, "Okay, okay. I get it! He's special!" I kind of liked seeing her like that, there were so many different faces Allyson pulled out of that little box inside of her body. "So what now?"
It was as if Allyson had this on and off switch inside her body. The top was labelled 'nice' and the bottom was labelled 'bitch.' There was no balance between the two, the light always seemed to have this constant flicker... All the damn time.
I guess her switch was on the 'nice' side right now. "So what now?"  She cradled my hand in her palm. "Now, we're gonna help each other get ready."

I froze, it was like I was trapped inside of a big block of ice. "No! I'm not going out anywhere, or doing anything. I just want to stay home and chill-" I looked over at my turtle I had yet to given a name. "With my turtle!"
Swinging my hand back and forth she groaned, knees bent and bouncing up and down. "Mel! It's your birthday. Don't you want to look nice?"
"Not really." I mumbled, it was just another day to me. Another day with gifts and family, another day older, that was it.
"Shit. I hate being pushy but in this moment I have a right to be." Her hands found their way into my hair, and she undid my bun, smoothing it down in the gentlest way I could imagine. "You're 16 now, you never know who might stop by. I'm pretty sure David would want to see you dressed up." She smiled, pulling a strand of hair from the front of my face and dividing it into 3 sections. "A braid is simple yet so elegant if you do it right." She sighed, "Damn, you're so lucky to have wavy hair. It's like you don't even have to try, your hair is already styled." Her eyes widened, "And it's so friggin soft, you have to let me know your secret. My hair is split-end central."

Never in a million years would I have though that Allyson had such a gentle touch. She was working her way down to the ends of the strand, and then she lifted my hair from behind my ear. Grabbing a bobby pin and trailing my hair underneath the side, she pinned it back. "I don't do anything to my hair, I just wash it and call it a day."
"Hmm, yeah well I could never do that, I guess I'll have split ends forever." She added the finishing touch, securing everything all in place, and then she stood back, turning me towards the mirror. "Simple, yet pretty. Right?"
There was no denying the fact that my hair did look better this way. "Thanks, it's nice."
"No prob." She started frowning and rubbing her chin as her lip quirked. "Hmmm, should we do makeup? Your face isn't scabby anymore."

"Oh- No, no, no, no!" Waving my arms back and forth at her, I moved my face away in the other direction.
"Come on!" She started rummaging through the items on the dresser. "A-ha!" Pulling out a brand new stick of piercing cerise-colored lip stick, she tore off the plastic.
"I don't do red!" I inched my face even farther away from her. "Look at my hair! Red would be over kill."
"Oh please! Red looks good on everyone- And what if he kisses you?!" She was talking about David, smirking like a little devil.
"Umm, 4 words: Not. Talking. To. Him." I said that nice and slow, trying to make her get the hint.
She rolled her eyes, and shrugged. "Fine. But you can keep it anyways, think of it as a little birthday gift. You might change your mind."

Allyson stayed near the mirror, and I took out some clothes, forming a big pile as I picked out stuff I could possibly wear. Dresses, upon dresses. "You think my makeup is too dull?" She asked, turning her face around in several different angles.
Slipping into a black dress, and throwing on my glasses; I ran my hands over the sides of it. "Nope. It's perfect the way it is." Technically, it was the winter time but people still wore light things, if the temperature was right. Living in Florida during the winter time was like playing limbo with your clothes. Sometimes you dressed all the way up, and other times you dressed all the way down. It mostly got chilly in the night time though, so you could get away with more clothing options during the day.
"I love that dress on you, it's so flattering to your figure." She said, twirling a curl around her finger, looking at the strand as if it wasn't curly enough.
I shrugged, "You think so? I think it makes me look young." The only thing the dress did was expose my itty bits which were supposed to actually be tits. "Eh, I'm not feeling it." Taking the dress off and digging through my pile of clothes, I found another dress. It was black with blue flames rising from the bottom of it, and it looked slightly more casual.

    "Oh wow, that's pretty cute too." Allyson was poking at her false eyelashes, making sure they weren't going to fall. "So what's the plan?"
      I shrugged, still looking down at my dress, I did like it. I walked over to my drawer, pulling out some long black socks. "Nothing. I'm staying home, I want to relax and spend time with my turtle."
    "Mel, you've been home all week." She rubbed her lips together, checking herself out some more. "Don't you think it's time?"
Acting like an oblivious fool, I avoided her question. "Time for what?" I slipped both of my feet into my socks, rolling them all the way up, just below my knee caps.
"Time to get out and do stuff, you've been in the house ever since you got back from the hospital." Finally, she stopped looking in the mirror and turned back in my direction. "I know there's not much to do around here but you could at least go outside for a walk.
"I'll consider it." I knew she was right, my room had become my own little personal dungeon, I did need an escape.

Beep, beep beep! Allyson's whole body tensed up as soon as she heard the car honk outside, it was like she was a video and she was on pause. "He's here!" Her eyes looked like sink holes and her mouth wasn't too far from reaching the floor.
I had honestly never seen her so filled with joy. "What are you doing?!?!" I pointed towards the window, "He's waiting for you, go!"
"Okay, okay, okay!" She grabbed all the makeup she left on my dresser and threw it in her bag, peeking out of the window before she went outside. "Shit! He's gonna be so mad I'm still not driving yet, even after he gave me the van." She muttered.
"If you don't get your ass outside and go talk to him-" I playfully threatened, trying to get her out of my room.
"Alright, alright. Bye!" She walked out of the door before peeping her head back in right after it closed. "Oh yeah, happy birthday!"
"Go!" I ordered yet again, following her out the door so I could watch her from the living room.

Once I heard the front door close I strolled over to the window, watching them greet each other although I probably shouldn't have.
He had his hands in all kinds of places I wouldn't dare to say. She pulled away from him, smiling and smacking his hands. My God, he was practically groping her in the middle of our front yard, talk about gross.
After all of that was settled, they both turned towards the Dodge Caravan. Ugh, that ugly looking thing. They were talking for a while, Allyson had a serious look on her face, almost as if she was sad.

When they stopped talking, they turned back towards his car, a Mazda. As if his little intro wasn't enough, he slapped her on her butt.
He looked kinda' gross, and much older than her, but he was wearing army pants and combat boots. His shiny looking black hair almost covered her face when he leaned in to kiss her. Damn, I guess a guy really wouldn't give you a car without expecting anything else in return... No matter how shitty the car was.

They got into the car, smiling at each other and then they just drove off. So much for celebrating.
I went back into my room and walked over to my dresser, taking out the bottle of pills. Managing to make space amongst all the makeup products, I placed my bottle of Xanax on the dresser, this was the thing that would 'fix' me. It never really seemed like I was worrying, but once the nurse started questioning me, I realized I was worrying. Worrying was a part of life but, my worries were excessive. I allowed my anxiety to consume me so much to the point I thought I was going to die.
     Call me cheesy and dramatic but, anxiety is something no one will truly understand, unless they've been through it themselves. Hell, I didn't even understand it until I was diagnosed last week.
This was going to be like a new chapter in my life. I was going to have to learn to deal with my anxiety and stop obsessing over things, no matter how normal it felt.

     The bottle of Xanax was practically calling my name as I looked down at it. I picked it up and swirled the pills around inside. They looked like tiny dwarfed peaches, all orange and oval shaped. I gripped the pill bottle in my hands, trying to relieve some of the tension I felt.
     Oh stop stalling Mel!  Those pills were going to help me relax, but there was nothing but hesitation and doubt mulling over me. I placed them back down on my dresser. There was always tomorrow...And besides I wasn't feeling anxious at the moment.
I opened my drawer and threw the pills back inside, I just wasn't ready. The thought of my life existing inside an orange bottle, left me paralytic.