Personal Update (Hiatus): 

          Sooooo... I'm tired of all the avoidance of an important topic regarding my life. Ever since the start of 11th grade I battled with depression and it comes and goes on top of my anxiety. I don't know where the hell it all came from.... Back in 10th grade I was "on top of the world." But shit changes...
          I don't want to sit here and say that I'm not busy because, I am verrrry busy. But I'm also super depressed on top of that, and it overwhelms me to no end. Most of the time being busy makes me feel more motivated and energized. Now, I just don't give a fuck about anything. It just feels like it takes extra strength to do everything. I can't focus for shit either. I'll sit around and just totally black out and I sleep a whole lot which is something I only do when I'm not feeling right about certain things.
         Writing music, playing my piano, and just writing literature in general doesn't make me happy anymore right now. I write something and end up scrapping half of it, then re-writing the same shit again. Even though I love those things... I just can't do it. I sit around and play my piano and wonder why I'm even doing it in the first place. I'll play something, record it, destroy it, manipulate it, and still end up hating my songs. I've been flipping out on a lot of people close to me and distancing myself from my closest friends, and it just sucks. Everything just feels off and who knows when I'll feel better.
          That's where I'm at right now. I'm so tired of playing happy all the time... I want to actually feel happy. I know there's light at the end of the tunnel but God damn... I'm so weak right now.  Life is confusing and I honestly just need time to find myself again...
          I was planning on finishing up part 2 and taking a hiatus then but I just can't do it....
          I'm probably gonna regret posting this but oh well. I'll be back when I'm in a better state of mind. <3