Update 12/17/15:

After these rough few months I'm starting to feel somewhat better about things. Still stressed as hell, but I got the mail today and look what I found! I was accepted to both of the colleges I applied to and this one is the one I'm gearing towards. Either way... now I'm trying to prepare for auditions and all that jazz (no pun intended lol) but I'm excited for all of this.

On a completely different note (no pun intended T_T) I've got lots of family stuff going on. I'm waiting on the medical results of a procedure one of my family members had done and it's just killing me inside. Last night was my winter concert, and I couldn't even concentrate on my singing. Literally, as soon as I came home they told me about the doctors visit and everything, and then 2 hours later I had to go up on stage and put on a fake smile, it sucked. But I did it. I walked in school today and I wanted to cry because I couldn't focus. But I pulled through!!!! I persevered!!! And I'm going to keep pushing on, I won't let this get me down and I'm staying positive.

For some reason I just can't stop thinking about the passage of time and it's like making me super fucking depressed. -_- To watch your friends go from what you once saw them as, to something completely different... Going separate ways, losing connections with some of your closest friends, even your family members... It's sad and it hurts, but that's life. I'm trying to put all of this emotional energy into my music... It's weird (I know) but most musicians have their little quirks. I just wish I could freeze some points in life. But yeah *sigh* that's where I'm at. Sometimes I think too much :/